Apr 8-9 - Song of Solomon 4:9

You have captured my heart,

my treasure, my bride.

You hold it hostage with

one glance of your eyes

Song of Solomon 4:9

NLT

 

“What?” my wife would snap.

 

“What?” I’d say defensively.

 

(One-word sentences — with snapping and defensiveness — is obviously not the best form of communication. But it was more than that ...)

 

“You were making a face,” she said.

 

“Oh, sorry.”

 

Let me make a confession: I’m a chronic multitasker. I’m bored if I’m only doing one thing at a time. And when we first got married, I spent a lot of time drawing. Mary Louise would be talking to me about her day, and I’d be trying to figure out how a cartoon character’s face would look when a bowling ball was dropped on his foot.

 

So what would I do? Well, the way I figure out how to draw that is to contort my own face to simulate what the cartoon character might be doing. But think of the results! As Mary Louise, a veterinarian, was describing to me something emotional like how she had to tell a client that their beloved pet had died, I’m sitting beside her contorting my face like a stupid cartoon character!

 

She’s on the verge of tears from the life and death reality of her job, and my face is alternately flashing howling pain and comic hysteria.

 

“What?” my wife would snap.

 

“What?” I’d say defensively.

 

Friends, don’t be like me. Look your beloved in the eye when you’re talking.

 

When we first started dating, we’d spend hours looking deep into each others eyes.

 

In fact, one of the hit songs of that summer had Whitney Houston singing, “If you say my eyes are beautiful, it’s because they’re looking at you.” Young and in love, those lyrics sounded profound (rather than hokey). But I suppose it was me and my multitasking and cartoon faces that began to rob us of some of that simple intimacy.

 

So ... don’t be like me. Be like Solomon: “You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes.”

 

Indeed, the courtesy of looking your partner in the eye is a simple way to restore and enrich your conversation.

 

QUESTION: How completely do you practice this simple art? Why not commit to trying it more fully?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who is making

a strange face right now