Apr 7 - Matthew 5:37

Let your word be

‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’;

anything more than this

comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37

NRSV

 

Once upon a time, a young man visited the fair. Seeing a sign that said, “For $50, I’ll teach you to be a mind reader,” the young man went inside the tent upon which the sign was hanging. 

 

Sitting on a wobbly stool inside the tent was an old man. He looked up when the young man entered and said, “Ah, I can see that you are here for the mind reading lessons.”

 

The young man rolled his eyes, “Right. How’d you guess?”

 

The old man smiled and said, “Follow me, and I’ll teach you your first lesson.”

 

Walking outside the back of the tent, the old man led his pupil over to a hose. He picked it up, handed it to the young man, and said, “Here’s the first lesson: Look into the end of this hose and tell me what you see.”

 

Though the young man rolled his eyes again, he nevertheless looked obediently into the hose. The old codger, of course, turned on the water and blasted the young man in the face. 

 

“I knew you’d do that!” snapped the young man. 

 

“See, you’re a mind reader already!” said the old man. “That’ll be fifty dollars.”

 

For twenty-eight years of marriage I’ve tried to teach my wife to be a mind-reader. How? By assuming that she ought to just know what I’m thinking and feeling! (Indeed, Mary Louise would be a very rich woman if she received fifty dollars for every time I expected her to read my mind!)

 

Sounds silly, right? How ridiculous to expect someone to know exactly what we’re thinking. But we do that all the time!

 

Sometimes, we say what we think we “ought” to say (rather than what we really think). Sometimes we say what we think the other person wants to hear (rather than what we really believe). Sometimes we say things just to be polite (rather than being truly honest). But here’s the silly part ... we then expect the other person to see through our words and intuit what we really mean! And we hold a grudge when they don’t! “If you really loved me,” we cry, “you would have understood what I meant.”

 

Yes. 

 

I know. 

 

We all want to be understood.

 

Intuitively. 

 

But it’s your fault if your beloved isn’t reading your mind. 

 

One obvious (but often overlooked) basic of communication is: Say what you mean and mean what you say. 

 

Indeed, ‘let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No.’” And it’s not because -- in this case -- that “anything more than this comes from the evil one.” It’s because the evil one loves to use any lack of clarity to sow seeds of greater and greater division!

 

So remember ... Your beloved is not a mind reader. If you want something, tell them. If you’re feeling something, say it. If you expect something, express it. And whenever The-Amazing-Kreskin-in-your-House fails to intuit your unexpressed thought, forgive them ... then try saying it again more clearly. 

 

QUESTION: In what ways, if your honest, do you expect your beloved to read your mind and “just know” what you’re thinking?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who still hasn’t turned

his bride into a mind-reader

(but I have succeeded

at much mind-numbing)