June 29 - Galatians 2:20a

My old self has been

crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live,

but Christ lives in me.

Galatians 2:20a

 

Pride.

 

It’s deadly.

 

And I’ve got some of it. In fact, I like to be right.

 

And in my marriage, “being right” often causes fights … or at least hurt feelings. I explain. I justify. I argue silly points, just to prove I’m right.

 

To be right – and have things done my way – I sometimes don’t listen (even though Mary Louise has some good opinions too).

 

Pride. It’s one of those seven deadly sins. Therefore, Paul Hudson – upon whose framework we’re basing this series reflections – asks …

 

6.   Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?

 

I think he’s half-right in his question.

 

The half-right part: Most of my “battles” with my wife are over silly things. We – no, mostly, I – need to quit fighting about silly things. The peace, the unity, the fellowship, and the joy are infinitely more important than my momentary pride.

 

Therefore, he’s half-right: I must sacrifice to win a greater prize.

 

Where he’s half-wrong is that somebody has to “lose.” In other writings I’ve talked about working maturely toward a “win-win solution” rather than a “win-lose compromise.” Why? Because if you’re passive enough to keep losing, you’re probably going to eventually resent it.

 

But sacrifice, properly understood, is not “losing.” It’s a victory. I’m not stuffing down my opinions; I’m crucifying my pride.

 

Do you see the difference? This is critical. I can’t be stuffing down my resentments and merely call it a victory. Again, that will eventually boil over and explode. (That’s what I tried to do early in my marriage. I’d try to be nice. I’d try to give in. But I was just stuffing down my feelings. But like a soda bottle, when events would shake me enough, I’d explode. Uggh.)

 

No. Crucifying our desires is not stuffing down our feelings. We must learn to see stresses as a gift. Why? Because they reveal our true heart and character. They give us the opportunity to figure out why we’re prideful … and angry … and selfish … and greed, arrogant, and ungrateful … and ultimately insecure enough to continually need to be right.

 

Do you see the difference? Stuffing is losing. Crucifying is victory.

 

Questions: So that you can both win … and your marriage and relationships can win … what do you need to crucify?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a reformed prideful, angry guy