July 1 - Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are

a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 127:3

ESV

 

8.   Will you be a great parent?

 

This is Paul Hudson’s next question. And it is, indeed, important to ask before you get married and have kids (… or not).

 

Indeed, that’s one of the most important questions that courting couples should ask. Before marriage, they should be asking …

 

·         Do you want kids?

·         How many?

·         When?

·         Furthermore, do you really, really want kids (or not want kids) as much as me? (Time to be really honest. Is family your long-term priority … or not?)

·         Do you, I, or we want mom (or dad) to stay home with the kids? (And are we willing to sacrifice financially from day one of the marriage to set up that opportunity?)

·         What happens if there are surprises?!

 

Courting couples should also talk about a parenting philosophies. This usually involves story-telling from our own childhoods. There are certain parenting “techniques” that each of us want to carry forward from our parents. There are also parenting “practices” that we may want to leave behind.

 

And know this … unless you’re intentional, you’re going to be your parents!

 

It’s reflex. It’s what you know. It’s how you’ll act by default. Therefore, whatever the weaknesses were in your parent’s methodology, what will you do to get coaching to change your default setting in these areas?

 

Question: If you’re getting married or are newlyweds, go back up to those questions, and ask about how many, when, desires, and parenting styles. (Indeed, if you still have kids at home, it’s always a good time to talk about parenting – Why do you do what you do?!)

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who was

surprised by parenting …

We didn’t originally plan on that soon.

We didn’t plan on mom staying home.

We had different target “numbers” along the way.

We considered adoption for “extras.”

But we always had the same goal …

“family.”

What’s your goal?