Mar 30 - Song of Solomon 4:7

You are absolutely beautiful, my darling,

with no imperfection in you.

Song of Solomon 4:7

^CSB

 

"He wrote the most beautiful letters. Stacks and stacks of them." A recent widow was describing her courtship. She was also describing her marriage.

 

Physical distance kept separating this woman and her beloved. While they were teenage sweethearts, his family moved to another state. While this put great physical distance between them, his letters sustained to the relationship. In marriage, it was 20 years of deployments in the Navy that created the physical distance. But again his letter sustained – and uplifted – the relationship.

 

A love letter is a written Word of Affirmation. Like all Words of Affirmation, it is one heart speaking affection and appreciation into the other person's life.

 

Most of our words in marriage though are not written. They are spoken. Usually hundreds a day. Some are sweet. Some are tinged with frustration. Most are just functional; we’re simply communicating information.

 

And yet occasionally – and hopefully not too rarely -- Words of Affirmation break though. We say, "I love you." "You look good in that dress." "I'm proud to call myself your wife." "Thank you for doing the dishes."

 

Look at these words. Most are quick phrases, just five or six words. They don't really cost us much. But they have a beautiful power! The more we say them, the more they stitch two hearts together.

 

Why? Because Words of Affirmation celebrate the best in the other person.

 

Criticism, on the other hand, harps on the worst.

 

Now, let’s be honest, we both have strengths and weaknesses. We have traits that need celebrating and character flaws that others must bear with. That’s part of being human. But when we focus on affirmation, the speaker keeps reminding himself of what is best in his beloved.

 

And through repetition, that changes his reality!

 

But it’s bigger than that. When our beloved keeps hearing wonderful words, they begin to live up to the wonderful ideal that they’re hearing. And that changes their reality too.

 

Result: Two realities uplifted! And one marriage inspired!

 

Yes, the more we speak affirmation, the more we create a beautiful reality within ourselves, within our beloved, within our marriage, within our relationship. Therefore, both husband and wife ought to be speaking and receiving these messages … frequently! Both husband and wife ought to be continually creating a glorious reality with their Words of Affirmation.

 

Question: Are you better at speaking affirmation or criticism? Are you better at looking for the best or the worst? What do you need to do to change your vocabulary… and your marriage?!

 

In Christ's Love,

a guy with a beautiful wife

(see what I did there?!)

 

And that's been my joyful

reality for twenty-eight years!