Mar 14-15 - Ephesians 4:15

speak the truth in love

Ephesians 4:15

^NIrV

 

“Honey, do I look fat in this dress?”

 

Husbands, there are few questions which you should avoid answering!

 

But let me say that carefully, because as we continue to talk about being “naked and not ashamed,” we need to talk about ...

 

Honesty and Nakedness

 

So what do you say when your beloved asks a “loaded question”?

 

Well ... we should answer ... always. We should answer ... truthfully. But we must also — and always — “speak the truth in love”!

 

Now, there are several forms of honesty that are needed in marriage. Today, we’ll focus on one — “speak the truth in love.”

 

The Apostle Paul says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up.” ^ESV

 

That’s how we speak the truth in love. We focus passionately on “building up”! 

 

And, likewise, you are to refrain — constantly — from having “corrupt[ion] come out of your mouths.” “Corruption” is like building a flaw into the foundation of a house. It makes it weak. The foundation cracks. The house begins to fall down from you take occupancy. Verbal corruption — and even subtle lies — corrupt the house of our marriage, causing it to teeter from the moment we take occupancy.

 

So how do we speak the truth in love when our beloved asks a question like, “Does this dress make me look fat”?

 

How? Well, as an artist, I’ve frequently learned taught children how to draw, and I’ve learned a simple rule: Never say, “That’s the best picture ever.” Now, a five-year-old may eat that up, but as they age, they’ll increasingly comparing their artwork to the drawings of their friends. Soon they’ll realize that their chicken scratch is not the best picture ever. Which means, soon they’ll learn that you’re over-inflating the truth — lying. 

 

No! The alternative is to “speak the truth in love.” For example, find one positive aspect in their artwork and highlight that! Say, for example, “I like the expression on this character’s face. He looks happy.” “I love the way you shaded the horse’s hair.” “It’s hard to draw hands, and I really like how you drew this hand here.” Do you see what that does? It’s honest. It’s encouraging. And it gives them something to celebrate, even while encouraging them to continue to grow. 

 

Do you see how that fulfills Ephesians 4:29? As it reads in the Good News Translation: “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.”

 

So what do you say when your beloved says something like, “Does this dress make me look fat?” “Provide what is needed.” Be honest. Be truthful. Be loving. And say something like, “I like red dress better.” (See, you encouraged what was good. She is pleasing to your eye, especially in red!)

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who especially

likes his wife in bright blue

(but not beige!)

 

Question: Do you truly speak the truth? Do you do it with passionate tact and compassionate love?