Mar 12 - Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s masterpiece.

He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,

so that we can do the good things

he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

NLT

 

What do you think of when I say, “naked and not ashamed”? (That was yesterday’s question, wasn’t it?) 

 

As we journey toward greater joy and intimacy in our lives and marriages, we talked yesterday about emotional nakedness. The sharing of heart and feelings, hopes and dreams. Today we talk about another kind of openness and transparency …

 

Psychological nakedness

 

What’s the difference between yesterday’s emotional transparency and today’s psychological nakedness? Let me differentiate it like this …

 

·               Emotional nakedness deals with feelings.

·               Psychological nakedness deals with fears.

 

Hmm. Sharing our fears requires a entirely different level of nakedness and vulnerability, doesn’t it?

 

When someone knows our weaknesses, they can wound us much more easily.

 

Loving husbands don’t wound. Loving wives can be trusted. And honestly, it’s the one who breaks the trust and wounds their partner that is psychologically ill.

 

But while we do live in a world where some husbands and wives do wound each other, what if a wife isn’t wounding and a husband isn’t breaking trust ... and yet a spouse is still guarded?

 

Let me ask this: In your relationship, does one of you have up impenetrable walls or a fence around your heart? Does one of you refuse – even accidentally – to let the other person in? This is a totally different problem than a mean-spirited partner, isn’t it?

 

If your spouse is generally trustworthy … but you still have problems trusting … what is the cause?

 

Well, at the very least, this is a form of insecurity ... and most of us suffer from some measure of insecurity. We consider ourselves too short, too heavy, too shy, too plain, too weak, too poor, too slow, too inarticulate, too average, too unlovely, or too unlovable. Indeed, rather than seeing ourselves through God’s eyes – the “masterpiece” that God created (Ephesians 2:10, NLT) – we judge ourselves … and we do it poorly. Indeed, if God calls us a “masterpiece,” why do we keep calling God a liar?

 

There’s a second reason for suspicions and barriers ... and that’s our lingering scars. Have you been deeply hurt? (It’s becoming the norm in our world rather than the exception.) We’re abandoned and abused. We’ve been cheated on and betrayed. We’ve been lied to and unsupported. And it often started in childhood. To protect ourselves, the walls went up.

 

The result? Too many of us aren’t willing to stand psychologically naked before anyone, including a relatively trustworthy spouse. 

 

Do you see how this deadens a marriage?!

 

If this is your situation – walls, suspicion, and barriers – it’s time to get help. Indeed, it’s time to be set free!

 

You will probably need to attack this on two fronts: 1) a trained professional who 2) points you to God. 

 

Yes, we may need a little psychological care to free us for psychological openness. But faith plays a bigger role than you might realize. Freedom ultimately occurs when we begin to fully trust in God’s view of us and make as our ultimate reality God’s care for us. Indeed, Why? Because it is only when we feel safe and loved – which is the gift God offers – that we can truly begin to trust other people, including and especially our spouse.

 

Question: Who do you trust in enough to share all of your fears, vulnerabilities, and psychological yearnings? Your spouse? Your best friend? Your counselor? Your God?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a priceless work of art

who’s writing to a “masterpiece”