Do not be unequally yoked
2 Corinthians 6:14a
A quick survey.
1. What is your marital status
__ I am married.
__ I am engaged.
__ I am thinking about marriage.
__ I am not married
2. Rank your personal level of faith and commitment …
__ Deeply committed.
__ Active believer who is pursuing growth.
__ Have always gone to church, but faith isn’t personal.
__ Generally believe in God, but don’t really practice it daily.
__ Not opposed to God and church.
__ If we’re honest, don’t really believe.
__ Find God, faith, and church a waste of time.
3. If you married, dating, or engaged, rank your partner’s level of personal faith and commitment … (Note: You’re not judging them or speaking for them; nevertheless, it’s helpful to know generally where your significant other is in faith and commitment.)
__ Deeply committed.
__ Active believer who is pursuing growth.
__ Have always gone to church, but faith isn’t personal.
__ Generally believe in God, but don’t really practice it daily.
__ Not opposed to God and church.
__ If we’re honest, don’t really believe.
__ Find God, faith, and church a waste of time.
Results of the survey …
1. Where are you and your beloved on this survey?
I pray that you are both near the top of the list! Why? Because faith brings power and joy to our relationships. (And that’s not an opinion; that’s statistics! That’s what we discussed yesterday.) Committed faith gives us the power to stay committed, together, and true.
2. Are you married already?
I almost didn’t have you take this survey. Why? Because you’re already committed covenantally to one another in marriage … and you probably know already where you each stand in matters of faith already. Whether you are prefectly yoked or not, it is now your responsibility (barring something as heinous as abuse) to stand beside your spouse through thick and thin. You’re to encourage them. Bless them. Help them be more human and more complete.
If you are not perfectly “yoked” in terms of faith, and if you’re the one in the marriage who happens to be more spiritually committed, then I encourage you to love and respect your spouse. I know your heart; you want to “lift them higher.” So encourage faith, but don’t nag. (But also beware of gravity. It’s easier to get pulled down in your own faith, than lift someone else up.)
And what if you’re the one who is less committed spiritually? I urge you too to love and respect your spouse too. Encourage their faith! You may not understand it, but it’s one of the most intimate and personal things in their life. If you help them celebrate what means something important to them, you make them more fully human and more complete. In fact, I urge you to worship regularly with them – not because it’s your thing, but because you respect them that much.
3. If you are not married yet – yet are pointed perhaps to a potential marriage – let me ask: How close are the two of you on this survey?
I pray that its equal – “equally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14). It’s always good to begin a journey as partners. Equal. Yoked together like oxen. Pulling in the same direction.
Within one on this scale is okay too. After all, we’re all on a journey. Within one is okay … if you’re both committed to love, patience, support, and – most of all – growth. After all, growing together is one of the joys and purposes of marriage!
But what if you’re two or more steps apart? My advice: Don’t get married. At least not now. Faith is THE most important part of life, and if your intended doesn’t share your faith, then you’re robbing this potential marriage of the love, joy, and power that comes from God.
Some will think that this sounds harsh. But if God is real, why would we walk into the most important commitment in our life without the Lord, his wisdom, and his power firmly on our side.
Some will say, “But love conquers everything.” Yes, God’s love conquers everything; not yours. In the best of circumstances, marriage is hard, and without God’s love to lift us up when we can’t do it ourselves, we’re so much more likely to fall.
A good test is this: If your beloved respects you, they’ll respect you enough to invest fully in what matters (or should matter) most to you.
And by the way, this isn’t my opinion, it’s God’s admonishment for marriage: If you’re thinking about marriage, don’t settle for anything less than being “equally yoked.”
Question of the Day: Based on today’s survey, what is the next step that you believe God is calling you to take in your faith and relationships?
In Christ’s Love,
a guy who married a gal
who was one step higher
… yet with both of us
committed to growth,
it’s been a grand journey
(with God’s help)
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