Feb 24 - Matthew 6:12

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have

forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:12

ASV

 

When someone hurts us, it’s like a “debt” has been incurred. Sin indeed has a “cost.” Therefore, this week we are using a banking analogy to reveal the process of forgiveness.

 

Yesterday we focused on the first step – what it feels like when someone trespasses against us.

 

1

An Account is Opened

A debt has been incurred.

 

Today we focus on the second of five steps on the journey toward forgiveness …

 

2

Examine the Account

 

When someone has incurred a debt with you, the next thing you need to do is examine the account.

 

Now, there’s a right way and wrong way to do this. And this is crucial!

 

The wrong, painful, and destructive way to examine the account is to essentially keep a list of all the wrongs that a person has ever done to you.

 

Do you do this? When you fight, do you tend to bring up every hurt in your relationship from the past seven years? That’s the wrong way to examine the account!

 

I have a friend who, for a long time, kept a literal record of wrongs. It was a secret journal, a treasured protection. This person would have agreed with Christian author Frederick Buechner. He says, “”Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”

 

That’s the wrong way to examine an account! You are wolfing down and imprisoning yourself. My friend is an example. While my friend clung to this list, bitterness, resentment, and stubborn self-justification filled their hearts. When they finally threw away this list, they were suddenly set free … and they were suddenly used by God in a rich new ministry!

 

So … what do I mean when I say “examine the account”? Here’s a positive way: “Try to figure out why it hurts so much!”

 

·         Did your husband’s forgetting to call and tell you he’d be late make you feel unimportant?

·         Did your wife’s harsh words make you feel unloved?

·         Has a friend injured you – physically or emotionally – and as you are left to pick up the pieces alone, do you feel abandoned?

 

Examine the account. Unloved. Unimportant. Forgotten and abandoned. Why does it hurt you so much?

 

The closer a person is to us the more their actions are likely to hurt us. Indeed, the deeper our attachment, the sharper their wounds. For example, if another driver is perturbed with me and shoots me a rude gesture, it might frustrate me for a moment. But if my best friend or my wife or my parents give me a similarly rude message through words or gestures, it may sting for days … or weeks … or years! An account has been opened. Now … why does it hurt? Examine the account. “It’s because I thought they loved me and I thought I could trust them. Am I nothing more to them than their harsh designation?”

 

Do you see the point? Examine the account: Why does it hurt you so much?

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who doesn’t want to be

a skeleton at the wrong feast

 

Question of the Day: What are the things that the person closest to you does that hurt you the most? Now ask: Why does it hurt? (Remember, you’re not making a record of transgression; you’re examining your own sensitivities. Understanding the hurt, you’re preparing your heart to forgive. Pray for God give you the power to be set free from the things you’re hanging onto “to the last toothsome morsel.”)