Bear with one another
Colossians 3:13a
I saw a grizzly once. We were in Alaska. She was fishing near a river with her three cubs. I’d swear she was as big as a Volkswagen.
If you look at the dictionary, bears have two things to do with marriage.
One … Don’t be a big, mean, snarling animal.
Two, you probably guessed, requires a totally different meaning of the word.
When the Apostles tell us to “bear with one another,” we need to understand, first, that these words are addressed generally to all Christians in all circumstances (and not just to married couples). All people of good faith and good character are called to “bear with one another.”
Nevertheless, we could say that this admonishment applies especially to married couples. Why? Because marriage is so daily! We life so close to each other that we can’t help occasionally stepping on one another’s toes ... and feelings.
So what does it mean “to bear with” someone? The New Living Translation renders this simple phrase with eight powerful words: “You must make allowance for each other’s faults.”
Wow! That’s not exactly the exciting part of marriage, is it? Nevertheless, it is precisely what it takes to make a marriage work.
We must make allowances for the other person’s faults. Again and again. Day after day. Why? Because our spouse is making allowances for our faults. Again and again. And day after day too.
Making allowances is not settling for less. It’s the path to gaining more! When you accept your spouse for who they are, you receive from them the best of them.
Conversely, when you’re the bear – continually complaining about your spouse’s shortcomings – you constantly pour anxiety and pressure into the marriage. And as you tear them down, you continually get less of them and less from them.
Question of the Day: Are you better at “being a bear to” or “bearing with” those who you are closest with? What do you personally need to do to build one another up?
In Christ’s Love,
a guy who’d rather be
a teddy bear than
a grizzly complainer
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