Feb 20 - Colossians 3:16b

Teach and admonish

each other in wisdom

Colossians 3:16b

 

Uh-oh. This piece of Biblical wisdom could be a recipe for marital disaster!

 

Ladies, let me tell you secret: Men don’t like asking for directions.

 

Wait! I’ve got to tell you a story! As I was writing this, I got interrupted. Help was needed in the kitchen. My bride needed me to use the blender.

 

Confession: I really don’t know how to use the blender. There are more buttons than just “on” and “off.” There are options like “crumb” and “puree.” And the only thing of which I was pretty sure was that I shouldn’t “liquefy” the vegetables thrust in my direction. And yet, as I stared at the vast array of buttons, I knew that total and liquefying destruction was a distinct possibility.

 

So … I just stood there.

 

Finally I looked up and said, “How do you use this thing?”

 

My bride was glad to help. In fact, she came over to me, gave me a playful hug, and said, “Did you know that women find it sexy when a man asks for directions?!”

 

“Really?”

 

Women, here’s what you need to know: Men don’t like asking for directions.

 

Men, here’s what you need to know: Women find it sexy if you do!

 

But here’s the real question … in all seriousness: If most of us – men and women – don’t really like to be told what to do, how can we possibly “teach and admonish each other,” even if it’s “in wisdom”?

 

When we’re children, we’re always in school. Some of it’s formal schooling – sitting at our little desk before a paid teacher. Most of it’s informal learning – the little lessons mom teaches throughout the day. “Remember to wash your hands.” “Don’t cross the street without looking both ways.”

 

That’s when we’re children. And whether we like it or not, learning is our job.

 

By the time most of us graduate to marriage, though, we’re at least in our college years. Education now is voluntary. We choose to go to classes … or not. And if learning is what we choose, then we pay the university for the privilege.

 

Here’s the point: When we’re adults, we choose whether to be in a learning environment, and if so, we “ask” someone to teach us. And that’s how it works best in marriage too.

 

If we “teach and admonish” our spouse – when they’re not asking for it – they’re likely to feel like they’re being treated like a child. (Because that’s what we do to children. We say things again and again whether they want to hear them or not.)

 

Women: Men don’t like being treated like a child. It feels like a lack of respect.

 

Men: Women don’t like being condescended to either!

 

So … if most of us can be a little thin-skinned, how are we to fulfill the Biblical call to “teach and admonish each other in wisdom”? It takes two things – two people being equally committed to trusting and learning and growing.

 

·         Trusting is assuming the best of the other person. Their advice is not because they don’t respect us; it’s because they love us and they are trying to bless our lives.

·         Learning is an attitude of the heart. Will we have curious minds and teachable hearts?

·         Growing is a commitment to keep getting better, and we’ll never grow unless we’re humble enough to be coached.

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who asked for directions

… once

 

Question of the Day

·         Getting Married and Newlyweds: Do you tend to encourage your beloved … or admonish them? Do you treat them with respect? And do you assume the best of them, even when they are “encouraging” you?

·         Married: Do you tend to encourage your spouse … or admonish them? Do you treat them with respect? And do you assume the best of them, even when they are “encouraging” you?

·         Not Married: In what relationships are you committed to trusting, learning, and growing?