Feb 10 - Exodus 20:12

“When I was a boy of 14,

my father was so ignorant

I could hardly stand

to have the old man around.

But when I got to be 21,

I was astonished at how much

the old man had learned

in seven years.”

Mark Twain

 

Honor your father and your mother

Exodus 20:12

^NRSV

 

The day after writing the last devotion, I ran into a young couple. I asked, “How are things?” They rolled their eyes.

   

I took that to mean, “Life is hard. It’s always hard.” And it is for them. They constantly have one challenge after another.

   

I wanted to give them advice, but I’ve watched repeatedly what they do with advice: They think they know better. In fact, if you tell them something they don’t want to hear, they cut you off for a while.

   

So I did what they allow me to do: hug them, whisper banal encouragement, and

tell them, “I hope things get better.”

   

My educated guess – after 20 years of watching people as a pastor – is that they will struggle and struggle and struggle, unless and until one thing happens — submission.

   

Now, too many of us don’t like that word. (Which is why too many of us struggle!) But here’s a simple rule in life: Unless and until we humbly consider the wisdom of those who’ve gone before us, we will continue to fall into life’s same old traps.

 

Now, why do I bring this up?

 

Because yesterday it might’ve sounded like I was encouraging young couples to ignore their family and do their own thing. It’s almost like too many young couples adopt the mantra, “It’s the two of us against the world.”

  

No! That wasn’t the advice! 

   

Yes, husband and wife must cling to each other. Yes, we must make our own decisions. Yes, we’re going to make our own mistakes. (We’re new at this!) But wisdom is learning to learn from the mistakes (and counsel) of those who have gone before us.   

   

When we are teenagers, every parent seems meddlesome! We think their default answer is always, “No.” (And they do say it a lot! But it’s mostly because most parents want to protect us from the mistakes they made in their own lives!)

   

Do your parents want to help you? Or do they want to control you? It’s critical for your marriage and family to figure that out. But here’s a hint: While families are complicated, ninety percent of parents simply want to help us ninety percent of the time!

 

So what is wise?

 

We must, first, cling to each other – husband and wife.

 

We must, second, make our own decisions … including our own mistakes. (We can learn from our mistakes. We must learn from our mistakes!)

 

But, third, isn’t it time for us to learn whose advice we can really trust? (And I truly pray that your parents are worth heeding. And ninety percent are … ninety percent of the time.)

   

I pray even more that you’ll learn to submit to the wisdom, law, and reign of God. Why? Because when God’s principles are written on your heart, then you’ll learn to quickly sniff out the wisdom that is true … or merely mediocre.

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who has made far less mistakes

when following my Father and my father

than when I tried it my own way

 

Question of the Day

·         Getting Married and Newlyweds: Do your parents want the best for you … even if they’re not tactful in the ways they say it? How do you cling to each other – first, foremost, and unquestionably – while still honoring good advice?

·         Married: As a couple, how are the ways that you are honoring your own mothers and fathers, modeling for your children the ways you want them to treat you when they grow up?

·         Not Married: Whether we are married or not, we are called to respect our elders. How successful are you in receiving counsel in the ways in which it was intended?