Later I passed by,
and when I looked at you
and saw that you were old enough for love,
I spread the corner of my garment over you
and covered your nakedness.
I gave you my solemn oath
and entered into a covenant with you,
declares the Sovereign LORD,
and you became mine.
Ezekiel 16:8
NIV
Alright … today I'm going to do it. I'm going to be totally – TOTALLY – politically incorrect!
And let me start by asking what the term "old maid" means. (And no, it's not a game a cards.)
In one of my favorite old movies, It's a Wonderful Life, a discouraged George Bailey is "given a great gift." He's allowed to see what the world would have been like without his kind and gentle presence.
It was a mess!
Seeing the tragedy of a town without the influence of one kind man, George cries out desperately to his guardian angel. He must know what has become of his wife. "Tell me, Clarence, where's Mary?"
"You're not going to like it, George," says the angel. "She never married. She's an old maid."
This movie was from the 1940s. And back then, a 35-year-old unmarried woman was viewed as a tragedy!
Funny. Fast forward to today. Many young people aren't even comprehending "settling down" until their thirties! And this is especially true of men. (GYZ∑!)
For the last few days, we've been talking about cultural factors that are causing a delay in young people assuming the responsibilities of adulthood.
Today, let's add all these factor together …
A poor economy
+ a lack of work
+ a tendency self-medicate our boredom with selfish-fun
+ a fear of commitment
+ hyper-sexualization (and few moral taboos)
+ rampant insecurity
____________________________________________
= What? (A huge mess!)
I don't envy my children's generation! Our modern culture has severely handicapped young marriages before they even start. (And that's before we add our personal handicaps of sin and selfishness.)
I think women, especially, are victims of today's morays and trends. (And here's where I really risk even more political incorrectness … but here goes …)
· As our lesson for today suggests, a young woman often finds herself at the "age for love." (Men can find themselves at this age and stage too, but more frequently – especially with the prompting of a hyper-sexualized culture – men often find themselves at the age for hormones and personal satisfaction.)
· In previous generations, women (and men) would have "settled down" by their early twenties. A large percentage of women would have a nice fella they could trust. And this young couple would be having both sex and babies like crazy!
· That model, of course, isn't for every woman! But now, cultural forces are making this option increasingly less viable.
· And rather than relational security, in today's culture too many young women don't trust men. (Indeed, today's permissive culture promotes way too much abuse … which robs us of security.)
· Furthermore, too many GYZ∑ wouldn't want to settle down if they could!
· So what does a young woman at the "age for love" do … especially if she's desires the security and affirmation of a relationship? She compromises. And culture says, "no problem!"
I know. I know. I'm terribly old fashioned.
I'm terribly incorrect – politically and perhaps otherwise.
Yes, women like sex just as much as men. Yes, women can "take control" of their sexuality just a fully men can exert theirs. Women, therefore, are "taught" to be assertive nowadays. Thus, females can be just as free … or free to be jerks. Commitment be damned; sex can mean as little to women as it does to men.
For some sexuality is the new equalizer. For others it's the new entitlement.
For still others, though, it is slowly ripping them apart and setting them up for a life of loneliness and struggle.
We're made for community. We're fashioned for relationships. We're called to covenant. But instead, here's what our culture offers …
· Young women are having serial relationships with young men who want serial relationships (because they're sure not into commitment).
· He says he's having "fun," but she keeps giving pieces of herself away.
· And then we're naïve enough to lament the divorce rate and "never-marrieds" and the number of children growing up without both parents.
· And so we realize that we're creating an epidemic of "old maids," even if that term is woefully out-of-date and even offensive.
Do you see it?
It's a crazy cycle!
And it keeps perpetuating more and more hurt, more and more loneliness.
The gift of marriage and the security of commitment is like water spinning down a toilet. The rate of mess is accelerating, faster and faster. Individuals are increasingly broken. And so is society.
Is there a way out? Is there hope? Yes! Absolutely.
Our God is a God of grace. Not only does he restore broken people, but he points a path beyond the brokenness …
The Call to Be Covenant Keepers – Part Four
If you want to restore hope in this broken world, if you want to make your marriage work – against all odds – then it's time to learn what Covenant Marriage is all about.
Question: Are you ready to quit being part of a messy world, and finally try it God's way? Well, let's discover, then, what Covenant Marriage is all about!
In Christ's Love,
a puzzle lover
(a guy who loves broken people,
because it's joyful to watch God
stitch them back together!)
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