Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
LOVE DOES NOT ENVY
(alt trans: LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS)
What is jealousy?
It is insecurity.
And insecurity is ultimately a lack of faith.
Ouch!
Think about this. Most of us are at least somewhat insecure. In fact, I think 90% of us – me included – deal with some forms of insecurity (and one of these forms is jealousy).
We have to deal with this! But first ... before we deal with the roots of our jealousy, let’s stop and hit the offender’s first. Are you “causing” jealousy? Stop it!
One of our primary calls as a husband or wife is to make our beloved feel special. Therefore, it’s time to stop and refocus -- if you’re not paying enough attention to your beloved ... or if you’re paying too much attention to the wrong things.
And what are those wrong things? Well, we could be paying too much attention to the wrong people. If it bothers your marriage, quit flirting? But we can also be guilty of giving too much attention to things like our jobs or our hobbies or even our kids, and our spouse has a right be jealous if they’re not the second priority in your life. (Wait?! Second priority? Yes, first should be God!!!).
But notice this verse. It doesn’t say, “Love is not flirty or workaholic” (though both of those often spell the opposite of love). Rather this verse says that “Love is not jealous.” This verse attacks insecurity and jealousy. Why? Because at it’s root is a lack of faith!
Again ... ouch! Why would I be attacking you that when the other person is a despicable cheater or an inattentive workaholic? Why? Because insecurity causes us to believe our assessment of ourselves (egged on further by our spouses inattention) rather than God’s assessment of us.
God says we are loved, blessed, chosen, adopted, forgiven, and redeemed -- indeed, God says you are more than that (see Ephesians 1:3-11)! Indeed, our Lord calls you his “masterpiece” (2:10)!
But when you buy into your insecurity, you are placing yourself ahead of God in terms of what you believe. That’s normal and natural, but that’s sin! And when you place your spouses opinion and treatment of you above God’s love for you, that too is idolatry and sin.
Yes, we want to be loved! I know that! And it helps to have physical arms holding us, instead just spiritual arms. I understand. But can I tell you a secret? When you’re needy and insecure, you are contributing to the wedge between you. The secret is to believe God so fully that his assessment of you defines your joy! I know it’s easier said than done!
(And -- P.S. -- If you’re a brutish slob, any insecurity that your spouse has does not justify your borish behavior! Stop doing your part of “causing” jealousy.)
Memorization: We’re trying to memorize today’s verse this week. Today write this passage out long hand. (It helps with memorization.) Then read it out loud twice. Then see how far you can get just saying it.
Question: Why do you believe your own assessment of yourself and your spouse’s occasional inattention more fully than you believe God’s assessment of yourself? What do you need to do to flip your priorities and your perceptions?
In Christ’s Love,
a guy who has spelled
“the opposite of love”
more than my wife has
(I’ve flirted with workaholism)
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