July 7 - Ephesians 5:22 (A)

We’ve gotten side-tracked for a week or two.

We’ve discussed the men’s role in marriage.

Now, let’s catch up and discuss the role of women.

 

Wives, be subject

to your husbands

as you are to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

^NRSV

 

Really?!! Wives be subject to your husbands?!!

 

We probably all know a few people who’ve used passages like this as a hammer. Women are silenced, and men are “permitted” to be almost abusive. And some church cultures almost accidently promote this. That’s wrong.

 

So as reactions to one extreme normally goes, other will then swing the pendulum to the far other extreme.

 

I grew up in a denomination that sometimes used passages like this to say, “The Bible is clearly out of date (and thus, clearly fallible).” As a result, passages like this led to a cut-and-paste method for interpreting the Bible. (If you can choose against passages like this, then you personally are free to choose against other passages too. It’s a dangerously slippery slope.) And that’s wrong too.

 

So where’s the center? … and what’s the point? … and where is God in the midst of passages like this?

 

I don’t see this as a legalistic command – on par with, say, “Thou shalt not kill.” Rather, I look at this (and similar passages) as God’s Wisdom. And I’m not talking about some general, little godly tidbits of wisdom that your nice Christian friends banter around as clichés. I’m talking about God’s Wisdom given directly though His Word. There’s a “beware” associated with ignoring it.

 

Here’s the difference between commands and wisdom …

 

·         If this passage is a command, then a woman must never take leadership in her family. It would be a sin in all circumstances.

 

·         If this passage represents God-capital-W-Wisdom, then a woman can – and sometimes maybe should or must – take leadership. For example, if a husband is abusive, ill, unstable, absent, or actively abdicating godly leadership, then sometimes the wife should and must exercise godly leadership.

 

Do you see the difference?

 

In our family, there have been seasons when Mary Louise has had to exercise godly leadership within our family. Not because she wanted to, but because I was too depressed, too distracted, and too disoriented (pointing in the wrong direction in my heart.)

 

I am thankful for her! Nevertheless, there’s a powerful reason why God preaches this logic! (I’ll tell you about it tomorrow! Sorry.)

 

Today, let me go back to the men – because, men, the whole of this passage puts the greater demand on you and me (“25 love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”).

 

Men, how are you giving everything – all of your life, your priorities, and your desires – for the sake of your wife and family? Are you setting a pattern of godly leadership that your bride wants to winsomely follow? What if the quality of her following is – and should be – determined by the quality of your spiritual leadership?

 

Questions: Men, answer the questions above. And women, ask yourselves if you are giving your husband room to lead? Ask it you’re encouraging him, empowering him, and entrusting him enough?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who has grown

into a more godly role