Dec 17 - 1 Timothy 4:7-8

Trian yourself in Godliness,

for while physical training is of some value,

godliness is valuable in every way.

1 Timothy 4:7-8

For many of my years in ministry, I lived in a small town. To get good competition, aspiring young athletes had to travel. When would they travel, though? On weekends. On Sundays. We'd lose families for an entire season of the year. My youth director said they worshipped God of Soccer.

I look back on my own childhood. I played every sport I could play. I went to major universities for football camps. But when was the last time I played football?!

Sports are great. They teach teamwork and discipline. As culture changes and more activities are on Sundays, our sports are also teaching that there are earthly hobbies more important than God and church. 

It's been thirty years since I've played football. "Godliness is valuable in every way." It's a life-long gift that I carry with me daily. And it transcends my youth. Indeed, it will carry me to everlasting life.

In Christ's Love,

a guy whose knee

still occasionally aches

(an old football injury)

Dec 16 - Philippians 4:4,6,5

Rejoice in the Lord always;

again I will say, Rejoice.

Do not worry about anything.

The Lord is at hand.

Philippians 4:4,6,5

One of the key themes at Christmas is "peace." Jesus himself is indeed the Prince of this great gift. Well, Philippians 4:4-7 is the formula that adds up to peace -- indeed, "7 the peace of God which surpasses all understanding."

If you want to give yourself a simple Christmas gift, memorize this formula, memorize verses: Philippians 4:4-7.

• "Pray[er]" connects us personally to God.
  
• "Thanksgiving" and "rejoic[ing]" help us look up to God -- instead of looking down in "worry."
  
• Our actions and obedience -- "let[ting] our gentleness," for example, "be known to everyone" -- train our habits in the ways we should go ... until gentleness, kindness, service, and forgiveness become who we are.
  
• And knowing that "the Lord is at hand" means that I've got a partner walking beside me, even when things don't feel peaceful.

Wait?! There's only one problem with memorization ... we don't like to do it!!! It's like work.

Here's where I'm going to point you to my son, Jay. To train these young naval officers how to memorize, these young midshipmen (in their first gruelling year) are required to memorize all fifteen meal options four meals ahead. (You have your choice of roast beef with pepper gravy or beef Chow Mein with Cashews and Red Peppers. The vegetables are cooked carrots and broccoli with cheese sauce. There is also Potatos au gratin sprinkled with bacon bits, red cabbage cole slaw, and a chef's salad with your choice of Ranch, French, Blue Cheese, or Low Fat Vinegrette dressing. Served with the meal are whole wheat rolls with butter, iced tea, and coffee. For desert is blueberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream or chocolate iced brownies with walnuts.)

One, I wish I ate that well. But two, why is this method of memorization so effective? The theory is, if you can memorize something with zero lasting importance -- and which changes every six hours -- then you can memorize large amounts of critical information in the heat of battle.

So ... memorizing Philippians 4 (see the verses below) should be easier than memorizing menus. Why? 1) The words here have eternal significance; 2) God's truths -- as opposed to menus -- never change; and 3) we are in a battle with sin, death, and discouragments (that's what worry is). Let's fight it with truth.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who's thankful at Christmas

that the Lord is at hand. 

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone.

The Lord is at hand.

6 Do not worry about anything,

but in everything

by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving

let your requests be made known to God.

7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,

will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7 

Dec 15 - Philippians 2:7

[Christ Jesus] emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave,

being born in human likeness.

Philippians 2:7

When I was about 17, I wrote a book in my head.

It was the story of a boy who loved ants. For hours he'd sit and watch and study delightfully the ants just outside his back door.

One day his father announced that the family was going build an addition onto the house. It was to go right on top of the boy's beloved ant hill. How could a boy possibly give a message to the ants? He decided he must quit being a human and become an ant.

That's a pretty cool story for a 17-year-old, right?! At least that's what I thought until a friend told me another writer had already published a book just like it.

Great idea. Bad timing, huh? (I could have been famous.)

I guess I wasn't original. But neither was the other writer. Jesus had already authored this story two thousand years ago!

The Son of God taking off his robes of light and becoming human is pretty comparable to a human choosing to become an ant. So great was Jesus majesty, and yet he humbled himself. (My story even had the boy be willing to die to get his message across to save his little ants, and of course, that's exactly what Jesus did to save us "ants.")

Philippians 2:5-11 is a powerful Christmas verse. The manger, the stable, and the Son of God in diapers is God truly emptying himself as he is born in human likeness. It is becoming an ant, a humble servant, a slave to our bodies of sin, death, and decay.

Jesus' willingness tells of his love.

Then Paul invites us to do the same thing: "Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus." How can you empty yourself of yourself and become more like Jesus? That's a good Christmas question.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who wants to be an ant

(I want to be a little less

and have Him be a good bit more)

Dec 14 - Colossians 1:15

He is the image of the invisible God,

the firstborn of all creation;

Colossians 1:15

Today's verse -- in fact it whole Colossians 1 paragraph (vss 15-22) -- fits very beautifully for this holy Christmas season.

Listen to some of these themes -- Paul's words are scripture and are the bold ones (they're scripture), mine are not bold and not scripture.

• 15 He is the image of the invisible God ... If you want to see what God looks like, look at Jesus
  
• 15 [He is] the firstborn of all creation ... In the beginning was the Word, and this "Word," we are told in John 1:1-5, is Jesus himself.
  
• 16 for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created ... In Genesis 1 when the Father says, "Let us make humankind in our image," he's talking to Jesus (and the Holy Spirit). Therefore, in him all things were created.
  
• 17 In him all things hold together. I love that! When we're trying to make sense of this broken world, Jesus is the lens that focuses our vision. In him all things begin to make sense.
  
• 18 He is the head of the body, the church ... I'm not the head of any church! Jesus is.
  
• 18 So that he might come to have first place in everything. This is my favorite line. Does he have first place in everything in your life? Or do you yourself or things of this world have first place for you.
  
• 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell ... This is the reason that we said in verse 15, that if you want to see what God looks like, look at Jesus. But Jesus doesn't just look and act like God; He is God! Fully.
  
• 20 And through him God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things ... by making peace through the blood of his cross. Sin separates us from God. Jesus -- through the costly shedding of his blood -- draws us back (reconciles us) to God.
  
• 21 so as to present you holy and blameless and irreproachable before him ... This is what reconciliation is. It's washing our sinful rags and presenting us holy and blameless before God.

Isn't that a beautiful picture of Christ in the midst of this beautiful, holy season? The question -- inspired by verse 18 -- is: Does Jesus have first place in everything? In your life? Or even just in your Christmas? Is Jesus really first?

In Christ's Love,

a guy who was reminded recently

of the biography of football great Gale Sayers.

He called it "I am Third."

(Jesus first, others second, ourselves third.)

Dec 13 - Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk

come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful

for building others up

according to their needs...

Ephesians 4:29

Sometimes a Bible verse can serve as a compass. When we're lost, it points us in the right direction.

Ephesians 4:29 served as a frequent compass in our house. Kids get lost regularly ... and I don't just mean physically lost. They lose their moral compass. They get frustrated and angry, and they (and we) say things they shouldn't.

Mary Louise kept pointing them to their true compass -- Jesus Christ -- and his life-giving wisdom which includes ...

• We will tolerate "no unwholesome talk." In addition to not tolerating coarse language, we insisted that our kids watch no unwholesome television or listen to no unwholesome song lyrics. Those things are subtle poison. What goes in will inevitably flow back out. Therefore, we watched a lot of old movies -- mature enough themes but with a much cleaner presentation.
• Say only things that are helpful. One of the related quotes we used was: "Great minds talk about ideas. Good minds talk about things. Weak minds talk about people."
• Make sure whatever you say "builds other people up." That one is so easily violated ... especially when we're stressed. Therefore, this is the principal that all five of us had to recommit ourselves to constantly. "Build up, don't tear down; build up, don't tear down; build up, don't tear down." It was a helpful mantra.
• And what we say should be "according to the other person's needs." This goes beyond do unto others according to what you'd like; it's do unto others according to what they want, need, hope for, and will enrich.

My tongue has caused the fires that James warns about in his Epistle -- James 3:1-12. Which of these principals do you need to work on for yourself or for your family?

In Christ's Love,

a guy who likes duct-tape

(either I'm a red neck

or I need continual discipline

in keeping his mouth shut)

Dec 12 - Ephesians 1:3-11,2:10

In Christ's Love,

a guy who's writing

today's devotional

backward

Lately I've come to understand that properly understanding our identity is the key to health, hope, peace, and joy in life.

• We tend to believe what the imperfect world says.
  
• We tend to trust the evaluation of imperfect parents.
  
• We compare ourselves to others. If we think too highly of ourselves, we call this pride.
  
• More often, we think too negatively about ourselves. Why? Because somebody's always smarter, prettier, slimmer, faster, richer, or more popular. Therefore, we suffer in comparison.

The simplest statement of our true identity -- that will hopefully defeat tapes that play and replay discouragement and defeat -- come from Ephesians 1:3-11.

God reminds us through his holy Word that we are: blessed, chosen, holy, blameless, destined, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, lavished up, an inheritor, and a masterpiece.

3 Blessed be the God and Father

of our Lord Jesus Christ,

who has blessed us in Christ with

every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places,

4 just as he chose us in Christ

before the foundation of the world

to be holy and blameless before him in love.

5 He destined us for adoption

as his children through Jesus Christ,

according to the good pleasure of his will.

7 In him we have redemption through his blood,

the forgiveness of our trespasses,

according to the riches of his grace

8 that he lavished on us.

11 In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance.

having been destined according to the purpose

of him who accomplishes all things

according to his counsel and will.

2:10 For we are God's masterpiece.

He has created us anew in Christ Jesus ...

Ephesians 1:3-11,2:10

Dec 11 - Acts 26:17-18

The Lord said to Paul,

I am sending you to open their eyes

so that they may turn from darkness to light

and from the power of Satan to God,

so that they may receive forgiveness of sins

and a place among those who are

sanctified by faith in me.

Acts 26:17-18

When Jesus knocked down Paul along that Damascus road, he told Paul that he had a five-fold purpose in mind for Paul's ministry ...

• To open the eyes of the spiritually blind. Paul explained this calling as wanting to "make everyone see what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things" (Eph 3:9).
  
• To turn people from the power of Satan to God. Paul was indeed the master who warned us that "our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore," he advised us to "take up the whole armor of God" (Eph 6:12-13).
  
• To help the broken understand that their sins are forgiven. Paul tells us, "Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (By grace you have been saved!)" (Eph 2:1-5). 
  
• To introduce those who don't know the God of Israel and the Savior of the Nations into the family of faith. Paul said, "Remember that you were at that time without Christ, being aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ ... creat[ing] in himself one new humanity in place of the two ... and ... reconcil[ing] both groups to God in one body through the cross" (Eph 2:12-17)
  
• To transfer hurting people from darkness and bondage and sin into his kingdom of freedom, hope, and light. Paul puts it this way, "Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light" (Rom 2:19). But this is call of all disciples, and I like even more how Peter encourages people to realize that they are "a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light" (1 Pet 2:9).

That's the call for all disciples ... all five of these. Pick on to work on in your own life this week. After all, that's why Christ called you too!

In Christ's Love,

a guy who will work to

open, turn, help, introduce

and transfer

Dec 10 - Acts 26:13-14

The Apostle Paul said,

"At midday along the road ...

I saw a light from heaven ...

When [I] had fallen to the ground,

I heard a voice saying,

'Saul, Saul, why are you

persecuting me ...?'"

Acts 26:13-14

Much of the end of Acts involves Paul's odd journey to Rome.

The journey starts in Jerusalem, and Paul's arrest is actually his first step toward the capital of the empire. Through these final chapters of Acts, Paul kept going through a number of trials, courts, governors, kings, and other officials until the Apostle began to appeal to Caesar himself.

God has a wonderful sense of humor. 

• The authorities were trying to shut Paul up. Instead, Paul's appeal to Caesar won him an all-expense paid trip to Rome. Indeed, a hostile government paid for Paul's final great missionary venture.
• Furthermore, when a criminal is arrested, what do they have to do again and again? Give their testimony. Paul's testimony wasn't a legal defense, of course, it was a spiritual testimony and a powerful witness.

If you look at Acts 22:6-16 and 26:12-18, Paul is testifying again and again about his conversion (which was originally recorded in Acts 9:1-19). He was testifying to his faith, of course, but he was using his conversion as an opening to his soul and a window into his faith.

We are called to always be ready to give an account for the hope that is in us (see 1 Pet 3:14). A good way to do this -- like Paul -- is to tell others of our conversion story. Even if you grew up in the church, I'll bet there was a moment when your inherited faith became your own personal faith.

Are you ready, able, and willing to testify again and again for the hope that is in you?

In Christ's Love,

a guy who didn't see a light from heaven,

but did see the God of heaven in

a bunch of spindly little trees

(but that's a story for another time)

Dec 9 - Acts 23:11

That night the Lord stood near [Paul]

and said, "Keep up your courage!"

Acts 23:11

In Acts 21-23, Paul heads to Jerusalem to see James. While there, he immediately finds controversary.

Paul testifies and is arrested. He testifies again, and they plot his death. It was discouraging. But at night in the midst of persecution, the Lord himself came and stood beside Paul, saying, "Keep up your courage."

Have you ever felt God's presence in that kind of way?

• In times of trial, have you ever experienced a peace which passes all understanding?
  
• In times of grief, have you ever experienced an unexplained hope?
  
• In times of illness, have you ever been surprised by healing? (Even if the healing is emotional rather than physical?)
  
• In times of brokeness and guilt, have you ever experienced forgiveness and grace?

Just as the Lord stood beside Paul, he stands beside you, saying, "Keep up your courage!"

In Christ's Love,

Captain Courageous

(a guy who can be courageous

because I know the crucified captain)

Dec 8 - Romans 16:1-2

I commend to you our sister Pheobe,

a minister of the church at Cenchreae,

so that you may welcome her in the Lord

as is fitting for the saints

Romans 16:1-2

The end of the traditional church in the West occurred when the church began ordaining women.

WAIT!!!

Wait ... wait ... wait!!! Ultimately, the long-term problem for the church was not with women in the pulpit, but with the sloppy Biblical work behind approving this decision.  

Biblically, there is a hard passage for many faithful Christians to transcend when considering this issue. In 1 Corinthians 14:34, the Apostle Paul says, "women should be silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be subordinate, as the law also says." Many very faithful Christians start and end with that passage. That is one prominent conviction in Christianity.

A second prominent faith conviction revolves around fairness and justice. Scripture, indeed, talks repeatedly about God being fair and just. Therefore, at a time when the equal rights banner was flying, many churches started asking the fairness and justice question regarding women in ministry. It's a good question! An important question. Unfortunately, too many pastors, churches, and individual Christians couldn't provide a solid Biblical argument to counter 1 Corinthians 14:34. Therefore, many resorted to an either/or -- it's either fairness and justice or the traditional understanding of the scriptures. For many, their good and noble sense of fairness and justice trumped the traditional understanding of the scriptures. What this led to, however, was the beginning of the end for the traditional, mainline church. Pastor Fran and I have both heard it said, "Scripture didn't support the ordination of women; therefore, why would anyone say we need scripture to support _______ [X, Y, or Z]?" It's been a very slippery slope.

There is a third way. 1 Corinthians 14:34 is so pointed and clear that we must wrestle with it. Nevertheless, this passage is not the majority sentiment of the New Testament regarding women. Indeed, majority themes, rather than minority reports, are the best way to determine the core of our theology. Here, therefore, are examples of women in ministry ...

• In Romans 16, "ministers"/"deacons" like Pheobe are mentioned as prominent leaders in the church.
  
• When Paul tells the Romans to greet Prisca and Aquila, Romans 16:3, he does the culturally unthinkable ... he mentions the woman (Priscilla) first. This again reflects the prominent ministry role of this woman in particular and his understanding of the role of women in general.
  
• In this sixteentj chapter of Romans, Paul greets other women by name, like Mary and Julia.
  
• Jesus himself lifted the role, place, and status of women with his consistent care for individual women, especially in a notably patriarchal age. (Although a case could be made that Jesus did choose twelve males as Apostles, in his individual encounters, he repeatedly treated women -- like the woman at the well -- as genuinely, as intelligently, and as valuably as men.)
  
• At his resurrection, he appear first to women, which means the first heralds of the resurrection were his female followers. 
  
• Furthermore, as the church began to take shape in Acts, there were several prominent women like Tabitha and Lydia leading the charge and promoting the faith. 
  
• In the Old Testament we find God working through women, like Deborah who was one of the Judges over Israel.
  
• And most of all, if we're concerned with placing the sacraments in a woman's hand, we need to remember that God literally placed the body of Christ in a woman's hands -- in fact, in Mary's very womb.

I can absolutely celebrate a church, an individual, or a tradition which does not allow ordination for scriptural reasons. There's integrity there.

I have a hard time, however, embracing a tradition which rejects scripture to support a worldly theme -- even if the theme (justice) is good and noble and is otherwise cloaked in Biblical undertones itself. 

As for me, however, I vote with what I see as the majority report in the New Testament. I will gladly admit that I have a hard time explaining away 1 Corinthians 14, but rather than calling Paul anti-feminist (which was the explanation I grew up hearing), I look and I see continual fingerprints of God's call to women all over the Bible. 

In Christ's Love,

a guy who

commends to you our sister Fran,

a minister of the church at Weddington

Dec 7 - Luke 7:13-15

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination, 5. Understand Life, 6. Quit Denying, 7. Praying Works, 8. Time Heals Wounds, 9. Be Thankful

When the Lord saw [the grieving mother],

his heart overflowed with compassion.

"Do not weep!" he said.

Then he walked over to the coffin and touched it, and ...

the dead boy sat up and began to talk to those around him!

And Jesus gave him back to his mother.

Luke 7:13-15

10

Conclusion

If you haven't heard it before, here's my favorite image for grief: 

Grief is a hole in the soul.

Imagine the shock of a loss. What happens to our heart as we begin to grieve?

• For the first month, every time we approach the hole of grief, we're going to fall in.
  
• Around this hole is freshly dug dirt. It is loose. It is unstable -- and so are we. Therefore, as we learn to walk a path around this hole, we're going to slip on the loose dirt and keep falling in.   
  
• Gradually, however, we going to trample down that loose dirt and make a path around that hole. We'll still fall in, but not as frequently.
  
• One day, we'll look up at the end of the day, and realize we haven't fallen in. And the first time we do it, we'll feel so guilty about not remember the reason for the hole -- our loved one who died -- that we'll promptly throw ourselves in.
  
• Generally it will take about a year (or two) to learn to walk a path around the big holes that represents our parent, our child, or our spouse (and less for smaller holes that represent acquaintances and friends).
  
• Even after we've learned to walk a path around these holes, we'll still occasionally fall in. Let me give you an example: By the time I was a teenager, one of my grandfathers had been dead for thirty years. I remember, however, sitting at supper with my grandmother, she was reminiscing about the good old days, when suddenly she fell again into the hole of my grandfather's death. It was thirty years later and the hole of that grief still had gravity.
  
• Generally, however -- and my grandmother was like this 99% of time -- we get to the point where we look back at the hole in our hearts and give thanks. My grandmother still missed a grandfather I never knew, but 99% of time she was thankful for his life, for his love, for his and her sons together!
  
• Time brought perspective.
  
• Time brought healing. 
• Time brought thanksgiving.

My grandmother was never thankful that my grandfather died, of course, but she was very thankful that he had lived! She was also very thankful that we was living again. She was indeed very thankful that she could be with him forever.

Grief hurts. Hope heals.

Thanks for journeying with me -- and a family that's losing a grandmother -- for these last several days.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who gives thanks for the hole

that was the cross and crucifixion.

Because of that and another hole

(the opening of the Easter tomb)

I'm not afraid of holes

Dec 6 - Luke 23:46

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination, 5. Understand Life, 6. Quit Denying, 7. Praying Works, 8. Time Heals Wounds

Then Jesus, crying with a loud voice, said,

"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit."

Having said this, he breathed his last.

Luke 23:46

9 

Be Thankful

Did you know that greed is one of the seven deadly sins?

And I must confess that I am greedy.

In fact, even when I think I've conquered the love of money, I find I'm greedy for other things. Time, for example. I want to live as long as I possibly can. And I want my loved ones to live at least as long as me.

Are you greedy for that too?

Lately though, I've been looking at my life. (Kids growing up and getting married will do that.) I'm not young anymore. But rather than trying to hold back the sands in the hour glass, do you know what I've been thinking a lot about lately?

"If Jesus only got 33 years on earth,

why do I think I deserve more?!!"

Ponder that for a minute.

Our very first breath was more than any of us ever deserve. But how many of us are far exceeding what even the Son of God received?

Rather than lamenting how fast time is flying, we ought to be more thankful for this gift of life!

And we ought to be more thankful that this world is not our home.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who's learning to commend

his spirit -- and all his days --

into God's hands

Dec 5 - Psalm 30:11

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination, 5. Understand Life, 6. Quit Denying, 7. Praying Works

[Lord,] you have turned my mourning into dancing;

you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

Psalm 30:11

8

T-I-M-E

There's one more way to reassure a grieving person that prayer works.

Remind them that part of their prayer at the death of a loved one is: "Lord, help my own pain go away."

God says, "I will. But remember, sometimes, 'joy again' is spelled "T-I-M-E.'"

A few years ago, I went to my aunt's funeral. The weather seemed to cooperate with the forces of death -- it was dark and dreary. As we laid my aunt to rest and as tears filled everyone's eyes, I looked at the grave beside my aunt's. It was my grandfathers grave.

My grandfather had died about six years before my aunt. And I can remember standing in that same graveyard on another dark and dreary day. Do you know what we were thinking then? "Will life ever be good again?"

As the family gathered around my aunt's tomb, I watched my littlest cousins -- 2-, 3-, and 4-years-old.

To them, the graveyard wasn't a place of death and destruction; it was a playground. They played hide and seek behind headstones and climbed over tombs -- including my grandfathers.

Six years earlier, we wondered if we'd ever see joy again. Six years later, his great-grandchildren were laughing and giggling and climbing innocently over his grave. They weren't even alive when my grandfather died, but here they were, a living, breathing, giggling reminder that there will be joy again.

When we pray, "Lord, help my pain go away," we're hoping "immediately." Nevertheless, prayer works, sometimes God just says that "joy again" needs to be spelled "T-I-M-E."

In Christ's Love,

an impatient guy who tends to spell

"what I want" as "R-I-G-H-T  N-O-W"

Dec 4 - Psalm 34:18

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination, 5. Understand Life, 6. Quit Denying

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;

he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

7

Praying works

I work with youth. Do you know what tends to be their first and second biggest faith crisis? (It can go in either order ...)

1. They engage in questionable behavior ... and they have to change their beliefs to match their new behavior (otherwise they feel bad about themselves and psychological it feels better to changer their beliefs than to feel bad about themselves).
2. Grandma dies.

Since we're talking this week about death, here's how the story usually goes.

• Grandma's sick.
• Granddaughter prays.
• Grandma eventually dies. (Even with prayer, Grandmas tend to die before granddaughters) 
• Granddaughter "learns" that prayer doesn't work.
• Granddaughter loses faith.

I've seen it over and over again.

Here's what you need to tell your kids -- and yourself -- in advance ...

The purpose of healing is not eternal life on earth. Think about it ... Even the people that Jesus himself healed didn't get to live forever on earth. (If they did, we'd see in the tabloids each week headlines like, "Leper that Jesus Healed is Dating Jennifer Anniston.")

Therefore, the purpose of healing is not life on earth ... it's faith in Jesus. Why? Because faith is the gateway to eternal life in heaven.

Do you get that?!

God has a better plan.

He doesn't want for us to live forever in this fallen, broken world! He wants us to live forever in a mansion with no more mourning, crying, or tears.

We will miss Grandma. Absolutely. Of course. But if we're honest, we don't want Grandma shakled eternally to her arthritis, we don't want Grandma to continually decline into dementia, and we certainly don't want Grandma to miss Grandpa and other loved ones who've gone on before her. Rather, we want Grandma to go and prepare a place for us -- just as Jesus has.

Therefore, if you know someone who's grieving, tell them, "Praying works!!!"

When we pray for someone we love who's teetering on the edge of death, what we are basically asking for in our prayers? "Lord, help Grandma live longer."

Guess what ... she will! Not here, of course. Not here, sadly, in our nearer presence. But God is inviting her -- and eventually us -- into a better world.

Yes, tell them that prayer works. Tell them that, "Lord, heal Grandma," is answered by God with, "In death, you are healed. You are young again. You are free."

In Christ's Love,

a guy who's presided over 100 deaths

and has come to know

that prayer definitely works!

Dec 3 - Luke 23:33,42,43

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination, 5. Understand Life

When they came to the place that is called The Skull,

they crucified Jesus there with the criminals

[one of these criminals] said, "Jesus, remember me

when you come into your kingdom."

He replied, "Truly I tell you,

today you will be with me in Paradise."

Luke 23:33,42,43

6

Quit Denying

I closed my last email with the signature: "a guy who likes heaven and victory more than secrets and defeat."

How many families do you know whose first name is "Secrets," whose middle name is "Denial," and whose last name is, therefore, "Defeat."

• I've known parents who haven't told their children about a diagnosis. "We don't want to burden them."
• I've known husbands who haven't let the doctors tell their spouse about a terminal illness. "I don't want them to worry."
• Furthermore, I constantly encounter people who don't say anything to their closest friends about any real burden their bearing. "It's private," they say.

As a result I've witnessed bucket-loads of unnecessary pain ... and anger ... and isolation.

The reality is that denial always hides in darkness and always cooperates with Satan. The truth about death will always and inevitably come. "Hiding it from the kids" won't make it go away; instead, it merely guarantees that it will hit us like a steamroller -- the full weight, all at once.

I agree, hard truths are always very painful ... especially initially. But truth -- told gracefully in advance -- eventually allows for a series of final gifts.

• We can have final conversations (see the final conversation in our verse for today)
• We can say what needs to be said -- the good things that lead to comfort and the hard things that lead to forgiveness
• In the sense of "live like we're dying" and making every moment count, stopping denial and living the truth allows us to face final days with more clarity and purpose.

Don't opt for darkness and denial. Opt for victory and hope.

In Christ's Love,

a guy whose first name is "Truth"

and whose last name is "Victory"

(sadly this makes my initials "T.V."

and I hoped this would get me away

from shallow living!)

Dec 2 - 1 Peter 1:24-25

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly, 4. Grieve with Bold Determination

For "All flesh is like grass ... 

The grass withers, and the flower falls,

but the word of the Lord endures forever."

1 Peter 1:24-25

5

Give perspective

One of the reasons that we grieve so violently -- nowadays -- is because too many of us avoid the subject of death. Maybe we're superstitious: "If I ignore it, maybe it will forget about me."

Sorry. I doesn't work that way. Death is the rule ... not the exception.

Unfortunately, most of us don't live like that. In our modern days of medicine's miracles, people are living longer and longer. Therefore, death feels like a brutal exception and an unnecessary defeat.

It's not. It's normal.

A hundred years ago -- and for all of the centuries before that -- death was the rule rather than the exception. If you had four children, one or two might have made it to adulthood. Lots of mothers would have died in childhood. Lots of fathers would have died in farming accidents. Pneumonia and infection were frequent death sentences.

In my family, just a few decades earlier (and still in many parts of the world today), Mary Louise would have died delivering Paul. And Paul would have died along with her. And since Jay and Robbie are younger, they would have never been born. My whole family is a miracle. But do I act like that? No. Most of the time we treat life as an entitlement rather than a very fragile gift.

My recommendation is to start talking more about life as a gift -- a temporary gift.

... AND start talking about death as a normal part of life.

As families, we tend to clam up about these things. "If I ignore it, maybe it will forget about me." No! We need to stop the conspiracy of silence. Fear dwells in darkness. And as Christians, we really don't need to fear death.

I have a good friend that says, "It's always a good day to go to heaven." What if we start talking about ...

• life as a glorious and temporary treasure
• death as a normal part of life
• and our end here as a triumphant gateway to a better world (instead of a brutal exception and an unnecessary defeat)

In Christ's Love,

a guy who likes heaven and victory

more than secrets and defeat

Dec 1 - Romans 8:37

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront,  2. Focus Forward,  3. Grieve Honestly 

in all these things

we are more than conquerors

through him who loved us

Romans 8:37

4

Grieve with Determination

Why do we grieve? Because there's a hole in our soul. A piece of love and a spark of life has have left our world.

We can be defeated by this — and many are. But we don't have to be!

When someone -- including yourself -- is grieving, remind them that grief means that you're simply yearning for something that this broken world can never deliver

Therefore ... if you don't like this thing called death, grief ought to be a powerful call to action! Grief is hard enough when we have hope; do you really want anyone you know and love to grieve without hope? No! Instead of being defeated, teach them to be as bold and brash as a knight venturing forward to conquer a dragon ...

Teach them to want to kick Satan's backside -- that's who's fault death is, not God's!

Teach them to want to defeat the powers of sin ... and death ... and discouragement. Indeed, discouragement is a frequently underestimated foe in world around us.

Teach them also to be torchbearers. Teach them to be disciples who are committed to bringing more light and more truth to this darkened world.

How do we do this? Daily obedience.

Obedience dresses us daily in the Full Armor of God. In fact, obeying daily -- in advance of life's inevitable crises -- helps us get accustomed to carrying the weight and wearing the protection before the trials arise.

That's the call for today: Dress yourself in obedience! Carry boldly God's torch of truth! And wear your grief as symbol of determination as you help defeat the shadow of death. 

In Christ's Love,

a guy who wants to kick butt

and take names

(Indeed, his despicable name is

LIVE spelled backwards)

Nov 30 - Psalm 23:4,6

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront  2. Focus Forward 

Yea, though I walk through

the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil:

for thou art with me;

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life: and I will

dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalm 23:4,6

3

Grieve Deeply

Have you ever heard someone say, "Christians shouldn't grieve."

In a sense, they're right.

We shouldn't grieve ... like the world does. The world grieves without hope. We have two powerful antedotes: 1) the resurrection and therefore 2) hope.

And yet we still grieve. Why? Because every change produces loss. And every loss produces grief. And grieving isn't a denial of faith. Rather, it's a glorious admission that we have loved deeply ... and we miss the person who was a symbol of that love.

If you have loved deeply, do you know what that really means? God was there!!! (Because God is love.)

So, give a grieving person -- including yourself -- permission to grieve.

In fact, tell them that it may take a full year to stitch their broken heart back together. Indeed, the closer you were to person who died, the longer it will take.

But at the same time, remember this ... The God who wove the blessing of grandma into your life, will see you through the valley of the shadow of death. And in God's hands, laughter, hope, and joy will come again. Indeed, goodness and mercy will truly and again follow you all the days of your life. And you -- like grandma -- shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who's loved deeply,

and grieved deeply,

and loved deeply again

(and will grieve again)

(and will love again)

(and will grieve again)

(and ... well, God's love

always gets the final word)

Nov 29 - Revelation 21:3-4

Recently a parent wrote, asking about how to speak to their children about grandma's illness and impending death. Over the next several days, I'm letting you "listen in" to my pastoral advice. So far we have covered the following pieces of advice: 1. Be Honest and Upfront 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,

"See, the home of God is among mortals.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

Death will be no more;

mourning and crying and pain will be no more

Revelation 21:3-4

2

Focus Forward

On the first two pages of scripture, God reveals his plan for humanity. As he creates, our Lord repeatedly says, "It is good, it is good, it is good." This goodness found its place in a perfect garden, which was filled with everything ... except mourning and crying, death and pain.

On the last two pages of scripture, God reveals his eternal plan for humanity. He tells us that there will be a new heaven, a new earth, a new "garden," filled with everything ... except mourning and crying and pain. In the fullness of God's plan, death will again be no more.

That's the first two pages (Gen 1 and 2) and the last two pages (Rev 21 and 22). But on the 1147 pages in between, sin rages and death has its way. In between, we certainly see glimpses of hope and promise — especially when Jesus comes in grace and glory — but mostly we see the imperfections of earth. Meaning? In these in-between-times, death keeps leaving a huge hole in too many hearts.

Therefore, when you know someone who is grieving, encourage them to quit looking downward at the grave and start focusing heavenward instead.

Now, this is definitely easier to say than to do. Tell your grieving friends that. But even more important, remind them that when we grieve, we are hungering for something that this broken earth can never supply.

Indeed, tell them that when we grieve we are already focusing forward. We are wanting what God promises. And we are mourning the wages of sin ... which is death.

Therefore, let us encourage one another to hunger for no more mourning, crying, or pain. Indeed, let us encourage one another to focus forward, to actively reach out for God's future, to vibrantly anticipate -- and with great hope -- the day that our deceased grandmas are already enjoying.

In Christ's Love,

a guy who wants his symbol to be

two triangles, pointing to the right

— look at the controls of your old VCR: 

I want to be "fast forward" and focused forward