Dec 13 - Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk

come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful

for building others up

according to their needs...

Ephesians 4:29

Sometimes a Bible verse can serve as a compass. When we're lost, it points us in the right direction.

Ephesians 4:29 served as a frequent compass in our house. Kids get lost regularly ... and I don't just mean physically lost. They lose their moral compass. They get frustrated and angry, and they (and we) say things they shouldn't.

Mary Louise kept pointing them to their true compass -- Jesus Christ -- and his life-giving wisdom which includes ...

• We will tolerate "no unwholesome talk." In addition to not tolerating coarse language, we insisted that our kids watch no unwholesome television or listen to no unwholesome song lyrics. Those things are subtle poison. What goes in will inevitably flow back out. Therefore, we watched a lot of old movies -- mature enough themes but with a much cleaner presentation.
• Say only things that are helpful. One of the related quotes we used was: "Great minds talk about ideas. Good minds talk about things. Weak minds talk about people."
• Make sure whatever you say "builds other people up." That one is so easily violated ... especially when we're stressed. Therefore, this is the principal that all five of us had to recommit ourselves to constantly. "Build up, don't tear down; build up, don't tear down; build up, don't tear down." It was a helpful mantra.
• And what we say should be "according to the other person's needs." This goes beyond do unto others according to what you'd like; it's do unto others according to what they want, need, hope for, and will enrich.

My tongue has caused the fires that James warns about in his Epistle -- James 3:1-12. Which of these principals do you need to work on for yourself or for your family?

In Christ's Love,

a guy who likes duct-tape

(either I'm a red neck

or I need continual discipline

in keeping his mouth shut)