Oct 20 - Matthew 5:31-32

Jesus said,

“It was also said,

‘Whoever divorces his wife,

let him give her a certificate of divorce.’

But I say to you that anyone

who divorces his wife,

except on the ground of unchastity,

causes her to commit adultery;

and whoever marries a

divorced woman commits adultery."

Matthew 5:31-32

Having just come from a Sunday School class on marriage (and divorce), I'm sensitive today to how I write this. In fact, I will take two days to write on this topic.

Tomorrow will focus on Jesus' uncompromising call to work on and for your marriage.

But first, I must address today an accidental fault of churches: Too many of the victims of divorce don't feel welcome anymore in church.

The church must be family friendly. In an age when the family is under attack by all the forces of culture, church must be a place of hope, refuge, teaching, and celebration for family.

But in the midst of this focus (and celebration) the "victims" of divorce (often an abandoned spouse who didn't wish for this separation) often feel unwelcome in the pews that once felt so comfortable.

They sometimes feel like lepers. Untouchable because their peers don't know what to say.

They sometimes feel like they're wearing a scarlet "D," judged for something that isn't their fault or desire.

They feel like their alone, because too many of us hide our sins and insecurities, hide our own brokenness and past disappointments (even divorce) under a mask of present piety.

They feel irrelevant when the church (very rightly) celebrates marriage.

They feel hopelessly judged by scripture whenever passages like this talk about the sinfulness of divorce.

Therefore, it is your job -- as a good church member -- to reach out to EVERYONE around you. You may or may not know their story, but you can offer friendship. You can assume the best of them.

When you find out about a grief (including the grief of separation), you can be quick with a hug.

It's not your job to judge. It's your job to love.

Generally speaking, your pastors are probably working (behind the scenes) to make sure that the neighbor at the other end of your pew is in a biblical state of renewal -- whether they're the victim who needs healing or a fellow sinner who needs the healing power of repentance. Your job isn't to judge that. It's to love.

And the same is true of the people in your neighborhoods and workplaces. We must love ..: and yes, we can do so without condoning a culture of easy divorce. In fact, that is what we are called to do.

In Christ's Love,

a pastor who grieves over

all the pains surrounding divorce