May 16-17 - 1 Cor 13 - Love Never Ends

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE NEVER ENDS

 

Today’s lesson is simple: There is basically only one thing we can take with us to heaven. Love.

 

Remember the rich man who figured out how to smuggle six suitcases of gold into heaven? St. Peter looked at all this gold at the pearly gates and said, “Pavement? Why’d you bring pavement to heaven?”

 

Yes, the things of this earth will pass away -- and even if we could bring some of it with us, it’d be totally eclipsed by the glory we encounter in heaven.

 

Therefore, the “things” that endure -- the things transportable from earth to heaven -- are not “things.”

 

At the end of 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul says, “13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three ...”

 

Yes, a first ”thing” will abide. We can take our “faith” with us to heaven. And yet our “faith” -- our confidence in things we cannot see -- will be eclipsed with a face to face encounter with God and the Lamb. Indeed, as we sing in the old hymn, “When Peace Like a River” -- “And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight.”

 

Yes, a second ”thing” will abide. We can take our “hope” with us to heaven. But since hope looks forward to things to come, when we stand in that future in the gleaming light from the throne, we won’t need hope because it’s now been fulfilled by reality.

 

Therefore, the final and ultimate thing that will abide is love, “and the greatest of these is love.” Indeed, “love never ends.” Faith will be replace by something greater -- sight. Hope will be replaced by something greater -- reality. But love won’t be replace. It will simply grow and grow and grow as we stand in the presence of the one who is pure love.

 

Therefore, our greatest call on earth is not to accumulate “things” which moth and rust will consume. It’s to accumulate more and more love. It’s to practice more and more love. It’s to break down barriers with more and more love.

 

And that’s why God gave us marriage and family! To practice!

 

He wants us ultimately to love the one we cannot see -- heart, soul, strength, and mind. That’s the purpose of our eternal existence: to glorify the creator.

 

And he gives us people we can see, touch, and forgive to practice on.

 

Question: Your marriage is a training ground for heaven. Do you view it as that?

 

Memorization: Last day. You’ve been at this for a while! Can you do it? Just try reciting it. If you’re not quite there, read it aloud and then try reciting it again. (Repeat until you’re satisfied.)

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who wants to smuggle

something into heaven --

the people I love

(therefore, I better make sure

they know of God and his love)

 

 

 

May 15 - 1 Cor 13 - bears, believes, hopes, endures all things

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

 

Marriage isn’t easy. It is daily.

 

It is ups and downs. It is celebrations and frustrations. It is passionate attention and distracted boredom. It is in sickness and in health. It is for richer and for poorer.

 

Marriage is daily. It is daily sacrifice, without always a thank you. It is cooking three meals a day and changing a hundred diapers. It is hi-ho-hi-ho; it’s off to work I go ... to a thankless job to get paid less than what it takes to meet some of the bills.

 

Marriage isn’t easy. That’s why scripture describes love as persistent. It “bears all things” and “endures all things.”

 

Wait! I don’t want to paint too negative picture of marriage. There’s a million benefits too! And best of all, I get to endure the challenges of life with a partner to help carry the load. But one of the failures in modern marriage is the assumption that things should always be rosy. They’re not. Life is hard! But it can be better together!

 

Let’s take a look at all of these attributes of persistent love:

 

·         Bears all things. First, I’m occasionally a bear. Though less so, so is Mary Louise. And life is a bear too. But the secret is this: Like a farmer, I don’t bear with the hard parts -- the plowing and planting and weeding -- I’ll never reap the fruit. Indeed, if I’m not patient and forgiving, I will, in large part, be the cause of my marriage being hard to bear.

 

·         Believes all things. I married my wife for a reason. I need to keep looking for -- and believing -- the best that is in her. I need to start assuming -- and believing -- that she wants the best for me and for us. I need to be more responsible for creating -- maybe re-creating -- an atmosphere of trust and joy and positive expectation. That’s my part of love.

 

·         Hopes all things. God guarantees that things will get better. It may not be soon. It may not be in this lifetime. But for people of faith, something better is always coming. The question is: Do you have faith that this is true in your life and your marriage? Hope is God’s natural antidepressant. It is a supernatural elixir that allows us to face life’s challenges with courage and confidence. Does your marriage -- and your love -- have this spirit-breathed power?

 

·         Endures all things. This is it ... will you keep at it? Will you keep loving when life is a bear or your spouse is a boar? Will you keep, hoping, believing, trusting? Yes, I know some behaviors must not be tolerated -- abuse and infidelity, for example. But the question is this: Except for the extremes that do true violence to a marriage, will you resolve to keep on keeping on?

 

Question: That last question is a good question for the day ... Except for the extremes that do true violence to a marriage, will you resolve to keep on keeping on?

 

Memorization: Again, you’ve been at this for a while. Before reading it again, just try reciting it. Then read it aloud and then try reciting it again. (Repeat until you’re satisfied.)

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy in the jersey of

the Chicago football team

(I need to quit being a Bear

and put on a New Orleans’ jersey)

 

 

 

May 14 - 1 Cor 13 - Love rejoices with the truth

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE ... REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH

 

Pilate once asked Jesus, “What is truth?”

 

Jesus didn’t answer — at least that day — but he did answer on another day. What is truth? Jesus said, “I am!”

 

Indeed, he said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

 

Therefore, when Scripture says that, “Love ... rejoices in the truth,” what is it really saying?

 

When we look at the world through God’s perspective through Jesus Christ, we realize that ...

 

·         the truth is that you are loved and lovable ...

·         therefore, put away your insecurity the truth is that your spouse is loved and lovable ...

·         therefore, see them through God’s eyes and assume the best of them the truth is that you are sinful ...

·         therefore, own your own part of conflicts

·         and remember the truth that forgiveness, though usually hard, IS possible ...

·         therefore, work constantly toward reconciliation and never give up the truth is that this life is temporary ...

·         therefore, make sure your life and marriage keeps investing in God, faith, and eternity …

·         because the truth is that because “God is for us,” hope ultimately outweighs even our greatest trials ...

·         therefore, we should strive to learn how to “give thanks in all circumstances”

 

Whenever our life focuses on God and consequently “rejoices in the truth,”  our love for one another grows.

 

Memorization: You’ve been at this for a while. Before reading it again, just try reciting it. Then read it aloud and then try reciting it again. (Repeat until you’re satisfied.)

 

Question: Is God the center of your life, thoughts, and priorities? How might this increases focus on God renew your joy in marriage?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who knows The Truth

(note 1: The Truth is a person)

(note 2: and he’s not a wrestler)

 

 

 

May 13 - 1 Cor 13 - Does not rejoice at wrongdoing

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE ... DOES NOT REJOICE

AT WRONGDOING

 

When my eldest son was two, he had a battle of the wills with his mother. He wanted to touch something. She said, “No. It was wasn’t safe.”

 

It was important that my wife won that battle. Why? It’s more than that it isn’t safe. It’s because this rebellious curiosity will repeat at 14! Teens want to touch things, do things, go their own way. Moms often and wisely say, “No.Certain things are not safe ... nor wise.”

 

Have you experienced the “joy” (and pain and worry) of battling wills? It’s our sinful nature fighting against timeless wisdom, parental authority, and logical safety.

 

What  every one of us (especially two-year-olds and teenagers) need to know is that ... There is right. And there is wrong.

 

That’s not politically correct to say that nowadays. But it is theologically correct!

 

If there is a god, then truth is not relative, morals are not cultural, and behaviors are not a matter of personal feeling and choice. God is God. And unless he’s schizophrenic, he knows right from wrong. And he’s consistent. Times and cultures may change, God doesn’t. He’s eternal.

 

Now, think for a moment about the opposite. If there’s not a god, then it’s a free for all. It’s survival of the fittest. It is “do whatever feels good to you.” Which is why 99.999% of people actually and intuitively believe in God!

 

We all know -- deep down -- that there is right and wrong.

 

Now ... as imperfect humans you and I may disagree on a few details! Worse ... we all tend to want to ignore certain pieces of God’s rules -- usually for our personal pleasure or selfish benefit. Nevertheless, you don’t have to scratch 99.999% of people very deep until they they know to balk at something! We know -- deep in our nature -- that things like hurting children are intrinsically wrong.

 

Yes, 99.999% of people know that there’s a standard. And yet we constantly rebel against it! Deep down, we’re still two-year-olds and teenagers. We want what we want when we want it. As the Apostle Paul once said, “I do not understand my own actions. ... For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. ... Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Rom 7:15-24)

 

Part of learning to love -- and part of becoming fully human -- is learning to “not rejoice at wrongdoing.” The Apostle called our “sin nature” a “body of death.” Is this the “body” that you are giving to your spouse in a one-flesh-union?

 

The Apostle Paul was trying to fight against his “actions” that he did “not understand.” Are you?

 

Indeed, are you fighting against your sin nature ... or are you fighting against your Heavenly Father like a teenager fights against his earthly father? God says that certain things are not safe ... nor wise. But ... “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9)

 

There are two alternatives for us imperfect creatures.

 

One: We can “rejoice in wrongdoing.” But that’s neither loving or good for anyone -- ourselves, our spouse, our family, or the world.

Two: We can fight against this body of death! How? Paul answers his own question. It’s through Jesus living in our lives and ruling in our hearts. “Who [or what] will rescue me from this ... wretched[ness]? Thanks be to God [who rescues me] through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom 7:24-25).

 

Question: What sins are you excusing that are causing your one-flesh union to subtly but surely decay into a body of death?

 

Memorization: You’ve been at this for a while. Before reading it again, just try reciting it. Then read it aloud and then try reciting it again. (Repeat until you’re satisfied.)

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who is a

lowly soldier in a bigger war,

thankful to battle beside

the true champion

 

 

 

 

May 12 - 1 Cor 13 - Honor (not rude)

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE DOES NOT BOAST;

IT IS NOT ARROGANT OR RUDE

 

I like the New International Version of what is often rendered “rude” — “Love ... does not dishonor others.”

 

Honor! Our classic, old marriage vows charge us to “love, honor, and cherish.” And honor may be the under-appreciated ingredient to love. 

 

To over-simplify these three old terms, “love” is in large part our actions. “Cherish” focuses more so on our feelings. “Honor,” then, is our attitude. 

 

We need to go back to the beginning and remind ourselves why we fell in love in the first place. Long before time and sin and busyness and frustration entered into your marriage, there was a piece your partner that honored and esteemed. You saw the best of them and wanted the best for them. That was an attitude that needs to be proclaimed. 

 

Yes, sometimes time and sin and frustration have intervened. It’s harder to have an attitude of respect when some actions no longer seems as honorable. But don’t underestimate your ability to create a more positive reality. The more you look for the best in your partner, the more you celebrate and encourage the best, the more you and they will discover that within them.

 

If you want your beloved to be more honorable, start treating them (again) as honorable. 

 

I know. I know. You may have to celebrate small victories at first, but I used the “again” a moment ago to remind you that you once saw and celebrated more honor and so your beloved practiced more honor in response to your affirmation. Meaning: If you’re not finding honor in your marriage — showing it or receiving it — you’ve both gotten into some bad habits. That can change! 

 

Here’s how to “show” an attitude of honor ...

 

·         It is showing respect. 

·         It is celebrating gifts. 

·         It is elevating esteem. 

·         It is guarding reputation. 

·         It is noticing service. 

·         It is saying “thanks.”

·         It is assuming the best. 

 

Memorization: 1. Paste this passage from 1 Corinthians 13 on your bathroom mirror so that you can keep calling it to mind. 2. Read it today five times aloud. Then try saying it on your own. (How far did you get?!)

 

Question: Do you regularly feel honored? Do you regularly show honor? Wherever you are on this list, pick one that you can work on, and do it intentionally today. 

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who wants to

join the honor guard

May 11 - 1 Cor 13 - Not Jealous

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE DOES NOT ENVY

(alt trans: LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS)

 

What is jealousy?

 

It is insecurity.

 

And insecurity is ultimately a lack of faith.

 

Ouch!

 

Think about this. Most of us are at least somewhat insecure. In fact, I think 90% of us – me included – deal with some forms of insecurity (and one of these forms is jealousy).

 

We have to deal with this! But first ... before we deal with the roots of our jealousy, let’s stop and hit the offender’s first. Are you “causing” jealousy? Stop it!

 

One of our primary calls as a husband or wife is to make our beloved feel special. Therefore, it’s time to stop and refocus -- if you’re not paying enough attention to your beloved ... or if you’re paying too much attention to the wrong things.

 

And what are those wrong things? Well, we could be paying too much attention to the wrong people. If it bothers your marriage, quit flirting? But we can also be guilty of giving too much attention to things like our jobs or our hobbies or even our kids, and our spouse has a right be jealous if they’re not the second priority in your life. (Wait?! Second priority? Yes, first should be God!!!).

 

But notice this verse. It doesn’t say, “Love is not flirty or workaholic” (though both of those often spell the opposite of love). Rather this verse says that “Love is not jealous.” This verse attacks insecurity and jealousy. Why? Because at it’s root is a lack of faith!

 

Again ... ouch! Why would I be attacking you that when the other person is a despicable cheater or an inattentive workaholic? Why? Because insecurity causes us to believe our assessment of ourselves (egged on further by our spouses inattention) rather than God’s assessment of us.

 

God says we are loved, blessed, chosen, adopted, forgiven, and redeemed -- indeed, God says you are more than that (see Ephesians 1:3-11)! Indeed, our Lord calls you his “masterpiece” (2:10)!

 

But when you buy into your insecurity, you are placing yourself ahead of God in terms of what you believe. That’s normal and natural, but that’s sin! And when you place your spouses opinion and treatment of you above God’s love for you, that too is idolatry and sin.

 

Yes, we want to be loved! I know that! And it helps to have physical arms holding us, instead just spiritual arms. I understand. But can I tell you a secret? When you’re needy and insecure, you are contributing to the wedge between you. The secret is to believe God so fully that his assessment of you defines your joy! I know it’s easier said than done!

 

(And -- P.S. -- If you’re a brutish slob, any insecurity that your spouse has does not justify your borish behavior! Stop doing your part of “causing” jealousy.)

 

Memorization: We’re trying to memorize today’s verse this week. Today write this passage out long hand. (It helps with memorization.) Then read it out loud twice. Then see how far you can get just saying it. 

 

Question: Why do you believe your own assessment of yourself and your spouse’s occasional inattention more fully than you believe God’s assessment of yourself? What do you need to do to flip your priorities and your perceptions?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who has spelled

“the opposite of love”

more than my wife has

(I’ve flirted with workaholism)

 

 

May 9-10 - 1 Cor 13 - Kind

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE IS ... KIND

 

What’s the first thing you notice when scripture says, “Love is patient and kind”?

 

Do you know what the first thing is that I notice about this? That it’s hard to do! Indeed, it’s especially hard to be patient all the time!

 

I’m short. I’m busy. I’m anxious. I’m abrupt. I lack patience ... at least, way too often. I want what I want when I want it. I don’t like submitting myself to the pace and agendas of another person. 

 

For example, my wife sometimes has different ideas about how we should spend our Saturdays. As a young man this drove me nuts. Her agenda — which often included very necessary chores — didn’t match my agenda (which usually included watching sports). The result? Conflict. 

 

I’d like to think I’m more patient now. More kind. We negotiate wants and needs and schedules much better. 

 

But kindness — selflessness — didn’t come natural. 

 

And patience sure doesn’t come naturally to me either. 

 

So ... do you know what the second thing I noticed about Scripture’s first two characteristics of love? They’re both fruits of the Spirit. Along with love, joy, and peace, the Spirit wants to give us patience, kindness, and goodness!

 

In other words, we can achieve these qualities of grace ... not by our own effort ... but by submitting ourselves to God and discovering his power. 

 

To say that yet another way, it’s when we’re weak (humbly admitting that we need God’s power), that we’re strong (able to be patient and kind ... through the Spirit’s guidance). 

 

Memorization: We’re trying to memorize today’s verse this week. Today read this passage OUT LOUD five times. Then see how far you can get just saying it. 

 

Question: If you want to fill your marriage with greater love, including patience and kindness, are you willing to submit more fully to God in faith, confession, and prayer?

 

In Christ’s  Love,

a guy who’s too often

busy, anxious, and abrupt

(so why do I keep refusing

- moment by moment --

to submit to the freeing Spirit?)

 

 

 

May 8 - 1 Cor 13 - Patient

Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;

it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way;

it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

 

LOVE IS PATIENT ...

 

Patience. It’s not a simple — or natural — trait. 

 

The Urban Dictionary defines patience as ...

 

The quality of ... bearing with [and under the conditions of ...]

provocation,

annoyance, 

misfortune ...

boredom [or]

bad entertainment

without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. 

 

(I love the thought that patience is bearing with bad entertainment!)

 

My son Jay had to learn patience as a Plebe (fourth class freshman) at the Naval Academy. Before these capable young men and women were built into leaders, the program was first designed to break them. 

 

“Thomas, give me your rates!” was a phrase Jay would frequently have yelled at him. 

 

For a full year, Jay — and all the plebes — were required to have memorized the full menu for the upcoming four meals. Each meal was a list of about seventeen to twenty-five items — including, choices of entrées, sides, and even the particular condiments available. 

 

How boring! Like a bad movie — “bad entertainment” — it demanded great patience. 

 

But their process was cruel genius. In the heat of battle, an officer can’t be confronted with a flood of information and say, “I’m not any good at information.” Therefore, they forced these future officers to constantly be memorizing trivial information ... that changed constantly (three times a days, in fact; every meal was a let down because it meant something new and inane to memorize).

 

If you can memorize that for a year, you can memorize anything!!

 

So can you. 

 

But it takes patience and perseverance.  And so does marriage. 

 

It’s day by day. And it changes several times a day. In fact, it’s sometimes like something new happens after every meal. Life is often trivial. There’s annoyance, inconvenience, boredom, and bad entertainment. 

 

Men, you’ll have to waiting outside hundred changing rooms. (Does this dress make me look fat?) Patience!

 

Women, you’re occasionally going to have to sit through six hours of the pre-game show for the sixth preseason game. Patience!

 

You’ll both here the same story a hundred times. You’ll keep having to wait for the same repetitious things. And you know what? That’s love. Patience is love. 

 

It’s not easy. (And tomorrow, I’ll tell you how.) But patience is love. 

 

So ... let me help you practice patience. I know you don’t like to memorize. I know you say that you “can’t” — though you really can. So here’s your chance to practice patience ...

 

Memorization: Over the course of these next several days, we’re trying to memorize today’s passage from 1 Corinthians 13. Today read it aloud twice, then take a minute to write it long hand. Then ... see how much you can remember. 

 

Question: What keeps you from spelling love “p-a-t-i-e-n-c-e”?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who could

memorize a menu ... but

couldn’t tell you what

he had for dinner last night

 

 

May 4 - Hosea 2:19

I will betroth you to me forever.

I will betroth you to me

in righteousness and in justice,

in steadfast love and in mercy.
Hosea 2:19

 

Have you ever had an “everlasting gobstopper”?

 

It’s a fictional candy from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (Nowadays, it’s also a real candy too, of course. Buy a box and you get lots of little brightly colored jawbreakers.)

 

In the famous 1970s movie, Willy Wonka promised a candy that would change colors and flavors … but could never be finished!

 

Wonka’s rival, Slugworth, worried, however, that an everlasting candy would ruin his business. You’d never have to buy more if your everlasting treat was never finished.  

 

Marriage is designed to be an everlasting gobstopper rather than a quick consumable.

 

God himself models the everlasting nature that marriage is designed to be. In Hosea, he pledges commitment “forever” – even when Israel is unfaithful. The commitment is contingent on him and his character rather than us and our character.

 

And notice the nature of his commitment. It’s not for “happiness” and “romance.” It’s not for what “you can do for me.”

 

The purpose of covenantal marriage is “righteousness” and “justice.”

 

Is that the purpose of your marriage? No?! It should be.

 

Your marriage is designed by God to be a testimony to “righteousness” and “justice.” People should see you and sense God’s character. The world should be able to count on you and your marriage as a testimony to “steadfast love” and “mercy.”  

 

But in the end, it’s …

 

·         “steadfastness” (an everlastingness as tough as a gobstopper)

·         character (“righteousness”, the desire to do the right thing)

·         dependability (“justice”, surpassing desire and actually doing the right thing)

·         “mercy” (forgiveness)

·         and persistent “love” (in sickness and in health, til death do us part)

 

that lead to the true and long-term happiness that we’re all looking for.

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who wants to put

the real Slugworth

(the one with a pitchfork)

out of business

 

 

 

May 2-3 - Ezekiel 16:8

Later I passed by,

and when I looked at you

and saw that you were old enough for love,

I spread the corner of my garment over you

and covered your nakedness.

I gave you my solemn oath

and entered into a covenant with you,

declares the Sovereign LORD,

and you became mine.

Ezekiel 16:8

^NIV

 

Alright … today I'm going to do it. I'm going to be totally – TOTALLY – politically incorrect!

 

And let me start by asking what the term "old maid" means. (And no, it's not a game a cards.)

 

In one of my favorite old movies, It's a Wonderful Life, a discouraged George Bailey is "given a great gift." He's allowed to see what the world would have been like without his kind and gentle presence.

 

It was a mess!

 

Seeing the tragedy of a town without the influence of one kind man, George cries out desperately to his guardian angel. He must know what has become of his wife. "Tell me, Clarence, where's Mary?"

 

"You're not going to like it, George," says the angel. "She never married. She's an old maid."

 

This movie was from the 1940s. And back then, a 35-year-old unmarried woman was viewed as a tragedy!

 

Funny. Fast forward to today. Many young people aren't even comprehending "settling down" until their thirties! And this is especially true of men. (GYZ∑!)

 

For the last few days, we've been talking about cultural factors that are causing a delay in young people assuming the responsibilities of adulthood.

 

Today, let's add all these factor together …

 

A poor economy

+ a lack of work

+ a tendency self-medicate our boredom with selfish-fun

+ a fear of commitment

+ hyper-sexualization (and few moral taboos)

+ rampant insecurity

____________________________________________

= What? (A huge mess!)

 

I don't envy my children's generation! Our modern culture has severely handicapped young marriages before they even start. (And that's before we add our personal handicaps of sin and selfishness.)

 

I think women, especially, are victims of today's morays and trends. (And here's where I really risk even more political incorrectness … but here goes …)

 

·         As our lesson for today suggests, a young woman often finds herself at the "age for love." (Men can find themselves at this age and stage too, but more frequently – especially with the prompting of a hyper-sexualized culture – men often find themselves at the age for hormones and personal satisfaction.)

 

·         In previous generations, women (and men) would have "settled down" by their early twenties. A large percentage of women would have a nice fella they could trust. And this young couple would be having both sex and babies like crazy!

 

·         That model, of course, isn't for every woman! But now, cultural forces are making this option increasingly less viable.

 

·         And rather than relational security, in today's culture too many young women don't trust men. (Indeed, today's permissive culture promotes way too much abuse … which robs us of security.)

 

·         Furthermore, too many GYZ∑ wouldn't want to settle down if they could!

 

·         So what does a young woman at the "age for love" do … especially if she's desires the security and affirmation of a relationship? She compromises. And culture says, "no problem!"

 

I know. I know. I'm terribly old fashioned.

 

I'm terribly incorrect – politically and perhaps otherwise.

 

Yes, women like sex just as much as men. Yes, women can "take control" of their sexuality just a fully men can exert theirs. Women, therefore, are "taught" to be assertive nowadays. Thus, females can be just as free … or free to be jerks. Commitment be damned; sex can mean as little to women as it does to men.

 

For some sexuality is the new equalizer. For others it's the new entitlement.

 

For still others, though, it is slowly ripping them apart and setting them up for a life of loneliness and struggle.

 

We're made for community. We're fashioned for relationships. We're called to covenant. But instead, here's what our culture offers …

 

·         Young women are having serial relationships with young men who want serial relationships (because they're sure not into commitment).

 

·         He says he's having "fun," but she keeps giving pieces of herself away.

 

·         And then we're naïve enough to lament the divorce rate and "never-marrieds" and the number of children growing up without both parents.

 

·         And so we realize that we're creating an epidemic of "old maids," even if that term is woefully out-of-date and even offensive.

 

Do you see it?

 

It's a crazy cycle!

 

And it keeps perpetuating more and more hurt, more and more loneliness.

 

The gift of marriage and the security of commitment is like water spinning down a toilet. The rate of mess is accelerating, faster and faster. Individuals are increasingly broken. And so is society.

 

Is there a way out? Is there hope? Yes! Absolutely.

 

Our God is a God of grace. Not only does he restore broken people, but he points a path beyond the brokenness …

 

The Call to Be Covenant Keepers – Part Four

 

If you want to restore hope in this broken world, if you want to make your marriage work – against all odds – then it's time to learn what Covenant Marriage is all about.

 

Question: Are you ready to quit being part of a messy world, and finally try it God's way? Well, let's discover, then, what Covenant Marriage is all about!

 

In Christ's Love,

a puzzle lover

(a guy who loves broken people,

because it's joyful to watch God

stitch them back together!)