Feb 24 - Matthew 6:12

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have

forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:12

ASV

 

When someone hurts us, it’s like a “debt” has been incurred. Sin indeed has a “cost.” Therefore, this week we are using a banking analogy to reveal the process of forgiveness.

 

Yesterday we focused on the first step – what it feels like when someone trespasses against us.

 

1

An Account is Opened

A debt has been incurred.

 

Today we focus on the second of five steps on the journey toward forgiveness …

 

2

Examine the Account

 

When someone has incurred a debt with you, the next thing you need to do is examine the account.

 

Now, there’s a right way and wrong way to do this. And this is crucial!

 

The wrong, painful, and destructive way to examine the account is to essentially keep a list of all the wrongs that a person has ever done to you.

 

Do you do this? When you fight, do you tend to bring up every hurt in your relationship from the past seven years? That’s the wrong way to examine the account!

 

I have a friend who, for a long time, kept a literal record of wrongs. It was a secret journal, a treasured protection. This person would have agreed with Christian author Frederick Buechner. He says, “”Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”

 

That’s the wrong way to examine an account! You are wolfing down and imprisoning yourself. My friend is an example. While my friend clung to this list, bitterness, resentment, and stubborn self-justification filled their hearts. When they finally threw away this list, they were suddenly set free … and they were suddenly used by God in a rich new ministry!

 

So … what do I mean when I say “examine the account”? Here’s a positive way: “Try to figure out why it hurts so much!”

 

·         Did your husband’s forgetting to call and tell you he’d be late make you feel unimportant?

·         Did your wife’s harsh words make you feel unloved?

·         Has a friend injured you – physically or emotionally – and as you are left to pick up the pieces alone, do you feel abandoned?

 

Examine the account. Unloved. Unimportant. Forgotten and abandoned. Why does it hurt you so much?

 

The closer a person is to us the more their actions are likely to hurt us. Indeed, the deeper our attachment, the sharper their wounds. For example, if another driver is perturbed with me and shoots me a rude gesture, it might frustrate me for a moment. But if my best friend or my wife or my parents give me a similarly rude message through words or gestures, it may sting for days … or weeks … or years! An account has been opened. Now … why does it hurt? Examine the account. “It’s because I thought they loved me and I thought I could trust them. Am I nothing more to them than their harsh designation?”

 

Do you see the point? Examine the account: Why does it hurt you so much?

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who doesn’t want to be

a skeleton at the wrong feast

 

Question of the Day: What are the things that the person closest to you does that hurt you the most? Now ask: Why does it hurt? (Remember, you’re not making a record of transgression; you’re examining your own sensitivities. Understanding the hurt, you’re preparing your heart to forgive. Pray for God give you the power to be set free from the things you’re hanging onto “to the last toothsome morsel.”)

 

 

Feb 23 - Colossians 3:13b

and, if anyone has

a complaint against another,

forgive each other; just as

the Lord has forgiven you,

so you also must forgive.

Colossians 3:13b

 

When you pray the Lord’s Prayer, how do you say “Forgive us our sins”? Do you use the word “sins”? Or do you say, “Forgive us our trespasses”? Or do you say, like others, “Forgive us our debts”?

 

I usually say “trespasses”; nevertheless, I think “debts” may be a more helpful way to think about sin and forgiveness.

 

Debt, after all, is a powerful to talk about the cost of sin to a relationship. And banking provides a powerful way to describe what it takes to truly forgive.

 

If you’d like to improve your ability to forgive, I urge you to practice a five-step transaction – covered over these next five days.

 

1

An Account is Opened

 

The first step toward forgiveness is realizing what’s happened … and what you’re feeling.

 

When someone hurts you, they’ve opened an account. They’ve incurred a debt. They owe you something.

 

If the debt is small – someone accidentally stepped on my toe – they owe me an apology.

If the debt is larger – someone totaled my car – they may owe me a few thousand dollars in restitution.

But what if the debt is huge? What if we’ve been bloodied and bruised? What if someone has robbed us or someone we love of innocence? What if someone has stolen a life?

 

Do you get the point? When a trespass occurs, a debt is incurred and an account has been opened. And until that debt is paid off and that account is closed, your relationship with that person is not right. Why? Because you feel like they owe you something.

 

We’ll talk about how to forgive these debts in coming days, but for today, it’s time to sit with today’s question …

 

Question of the Day: What is the biggest debt someone has with you? What are some of the little debts that the person closest to you is incurring? Pray for God to ready your heart for this five-step process of forgiveness.

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who surely

owes more

than he is owed

 

Feb 21-22 - Colossians 3:13a

Bear with one another

Colossians 3:13a

 

I saw a grizzly once. We were in Alaska. She was fishing near a river with her three cubs. I’d swear she was as big as a Volkswagen.

 

If you look at the dictionary, bears have two things to do with marriage.

 

One … Don’t be a big, mean, snarling animal.

 

Two, you probably guessed, requires a totally different meaning of the word.

 

When the Apostles tell us to “bear with one another,” we need to understand, first, that these words are addressed generally to all Christians in all circumstances (and not just to married couples). All people of good faith and good character are called to “bear with one another.”

 

Nevertheless, we could say that this admonishment applies especially to married couples. Why? Because marriage is so daily! We life so close to each other that we can’t help occasionally stepping on one another’s toes ... and feelings.

 

So what does it mean “to bear with” someone? The New Living Translation renders this simple phrase with eight powerful words: “You must make allowance for each other’s faults.”

 

Wow! That’s not exactly the exciting part of marriage, is it? Nevertheless, it is precisely what it takes to make a marriage work.

 

We must make allowances for the other person’s faults. Again and again. Day after day. Why? Because our spouse is making allowances for our faults. Again and again. And day after day too.

 

Making allowances is not settling for less. It’s the path to gaining more! When you accept your spouse for who they are, you receive from them the best of them.

 

Conversely, when you’re the bear – continually complaining about your spouse’s shortcomings – you constantly pour anxiety and pressure into the marriage. And as you tear them down, you continually get less of them and less from them.

 

Question of the Day: Are you better at “being a bear to” or “bearing with” those who you are closest with? What do you personally need to do to build one another up?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who’d rather be

a teddy bear than

a grizzly complainer

 

 

Feb 21-22 - Colossians 3:13a

Bear with one another

Colossians 3:13a

 

I saw a grizzly once. We were in Alaska. She was fishing near a river with her three cubs. I’d swear she was as big as a Volkswagen.

 

If you look at the dictionary, bears have two things to do with marriage.

 

One … Don’t be a big, mean, snarling animal.

 

Two, you probably guessed, requires a totally different meaning of the word.

 

When the Apostles tell us to “bear with one another,” we need to understand, first, that these words are addressed generally to all Christians in all circumstances (and not just to married couples). All people of good faith and good character are called to “bear with one another.”

 

Nevertheless, we could say that this admonishment applies especially to married couples. Why? Because marriage is so daily! We life so close to each other that we can’t help occasionally stepping on one another’s toes ... and feelings.

 

So what does it mean “to bear with” someone? The New Living Translation renders this simple phrase with eight powerful words: “You must make allowance for each other’s faults.”

 

Wow! That’s not exactly the exciting part of marriage, is it? Nevertheless, it is precisely what it takes to make a marriage work.

 

We must make allowances for the other person’s faults. Again and again. Day after day. Why? Because our spouse is making allowances for our faults. Again and again. And day after day too.

 

Making allowances is not settling for less. It’s the path to gaining more! When you accept your spouse for who they are, you receive from them the best of them.

 

Conversely, when you’re the bear – continually complaining about your spouse’s shortcomings – you constantly pour anxiety and pressure into the marriage. And as you tear them down, you continually get less of them and less from them.

 

Question of the Day: Are you better at “being a bear to” or “bearing with” those who you are closest with? What do you personally need to do to build one another up?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who’d rather be

a teddy bear than

a grizzly complainer

 

 

Feb 20 - Colossians 3:16b

Teach and admonish

each other in wisdom

Colossians 3:16b

 

Uh-oh. This piece of Biblical wisdom could be a recipe for marital disaster!

 

Ladies, let me tell you secret: Men don’t like asking for directions.

 

Wait! I’ve got to tell you a story! As I was writing this, I got interrupted. Help was needed in the kitchen. My bride needed me to use the blender.

 

Confession: I really don’t know how to use the blender. There are more buttons than just “on” and “off.” There are options like “crumb” and “puree.” And the only thing of which I was pretty sure was that I shouldn’t “liquefy” the vegetables thrust in my direction. And yet, as I stared at the vast array of buttons, I knew that total and liquefying destruction was a distinct possibility.

 

So … I just stood there.

 

Finally I looked up and said, “How do you use this thing?”

 

My bride was glad to help. In fact, she came over to me, gave me a playful hug, and said, “Did you know that women find it sexy when a man asks for directions?!”

 

“Really?”

 

Women, here’s what you need to know: Men don’t like asking for directions.

 

Men, here’s what you need to know: Women find it sexy if you do!

 

But here’s the real question … in all seriousness: If most of us – men and women – don’t really like to be told what to do, how can we possibly “teach and admonish each other,” even if it’s “in wisdom”?

 

When we’re children, we’re always in school. Some of it’s formal schooling – sitting at our little desk before a paid teacher. Most of it’s informal learning – the little lessons mom teaches throughout the day. “Remember to wash your hands.” “Don’t cross the street without looking both ways.”

 

That’s when we’re children. And whether we like it or not, learning is our job.

 

By the time most of us graduate to marriage, though, we’re at least in our college years. Education now is voluntary. We choose to go to classes … or not. And if learning is what we choose, then we pay the university for the privilege.

 

Here’s the point: When we’re adults, we choose whether to be in a learning environment, and if so, we “ask” someone to teach us. And that’s how it works best in marriage too.

 

If we “teach and admonish” our spouse – when they’re not asking for it – they’re likely to feel like they’re being treated like a child. (Because that’s what we do to children. We say things again and again whether they want to hear them or not.)

 

Women: Men don’t like being treated like a child. It feels like a lack of respect.

 

Men: Women don’t like being condescended to either!

 

So … if most of us can be a little thin-skinned, how are we to fulfill the Biblical call to “teach and admonish each other in wisdom”? It takes two things – two people being equally committed to trusting and learning and growing.

 

·         Trusting is assuming the best of the other person. Their advice is not because they don’t respect us; it’s because they love us and they are trying to bless our lives.

·         Learning is an attitude of the heart. Will we have curious minds and teachable hearts?

·         Growing is a commitment to keep getting better, and we’ll never grow unless we’re humble enough to be coached.

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who asked for directions

… once

 

Question of the Day

·         Getting Married and Newlyweds: Do you tend to encourage your beloved … or admonish them? Do you treat them with respect? And do you assume the best of them, even when they are “encouraging” you?

·         Married: Do you tend to encourage your spouse … or admonish them? Do you treat them with respect? And do you assume the best of them, even when they are “encouraging” you?

·         Not Married: In what relationships are you committed to trusting, learning, and growing?

 

Feb 19 - Colossians 3:15

let the peace that 

comes from Christ 

rule in your hearts

Colossians 3:15

 

What is peace?

 

The Urban Dictionary defines peace like this: “a brief interlude between wars, during which the prudent study the lessons of the last war and prepare for the next one.”

 

Sadly, how many marriages follow that pattern?

 

Yes, rubbing up against each other constantly, as in marriage, causes a little friction. Nevertheless, this definition of peace invites us to ask: What truly defines our relationship? Is it the harmony and teamwork? Is it the frustrations and explosions? Or is it the up and down nature of our life together? 

 

Indeed, are we mainly just limping through puddles between the storms? Are we walking on egg shells not sure what will trigger the next outburst? Are tired and defeated and too often just going through the motions?

 

That’s the state of too many marriages. 

 

But here’s the curious thing: No one goes to the altar thinking, “Yep, that’s going to be us, too — a veneer of peace between the skirmishes.”

 

God offers an alternative: “the peace of Christ.”

 

What is it?

 

·         First, true peace starts with love. And it loves unconditionally, just as Jesus Christ loves us.  

·         Second, it’s the kind of love that sacrifices. It washes feet. It tends to one another’s leprous wounds. It is compassionate in spite of faults. It even lays down one’s own life for the other. 

·         True peace celebrates the best in the other person, just as Jesus celebrated, blessed, and restored the woman at the well (see John 4). 

·         True peace is forgiving. You spouse will occasionally hurt you, but chances are that they won’t literally nail you to a cross! So if Christ can forgive even that, then perhaps we should work daily to adorn ourselves with his heart of forgiveness. 

·         Heavenly peace is supernatural. You can’t do it alone! To achieve true peace, you must make your relationship with God the strongest reality in your life ... and then you can hope to achieve the fullest measure of peace, hope, and joy with a person who is just as imperfect as you (and just as in love with you).

·         Finally, it is a daily discipline. You must choose to love. You must choose to forgive. You must choose to assume the best of the other person. You must choose to not take offense. And if you want Christ’s peace, you must do this daily. Hourly. Constantly. 

 

Question of the Day: Love. Sacrifice. Assuming the best. A forgiving heart. Daily discipline. And a connection to God’s supernatural help. Which of these do you best? Which of these do you do worst? And which of these must you work on first to bless your most important relationship(s)?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who wants peace

... therefore, I must surrender

 

Feb 18 - Genesis 1:27-28

So God created humankind in his image

… male and female he created them.

God blessed them, and God said to them,

“Be fruitful and multiply …”

Genesis 1:27-28

NRSV

 

Scripture is not prudish. The Song of Solomon is at least PG-13.

 

Your breasts are like twin fawns of a gazelle.

Your neck is as stately as an ivory tower.

Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman.

Your navel is as delicious as a goblet filled with wine.

Your belly is lovely, like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.

Your neck is as stately as an ivory tower.

Your eyes are like the sparkling pools

You are tall and slim like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters of dates.

Oh, how delightful you are, my beloved; how pleasant for utter delight!

                        Song of Solomon 7:1-7

 

Whew! Is it getting hot in here?

 

As we said yesterday, sex is supposed to be fun. Our spouse is designed to be our playground. “How pleasant for utter delight!”

 

I’ve heard it said that “God’s purpose for sex is pleasure.” But … no! That’s a lie.  Indeed, it’s a lie that’s had horrible consequences for marriage and our culture.

 

Read today’s verse. The first glimpse of sex and marriage in the Bible is on page one of the Scriptures. In Genesis 1 God immediately defines the primary purpose of sex: Procreation.

 

Yes, sex is fun. Yes, sex binds us powerfully to our spouse in a one flesh union. But if we misunderstand the procreative aspect of sexuality, we destroy what God has intended for good.

 

Cultural commentators point to the invention of “the pill” as a transformative moment in our nation’s history. If you listen to some, they will say that at that moment, women were liberated. Between the pill and abortion, sex no longer had to carry the “risk” of procreation. 

 

Are women freer? In one sense, yes. They can fool around as ubiquitously as men. In a deeper sense, no. Not by a million miles! Since the sexual revolution, more women are alone than ever before. Marriage rates are down. Single rates are up. Divorce has skyrocketed. Most children (including most girls nowadays) grow up without two parents. Rather than uniting deeply with a person, we have serial relationships that ultimately rob us of a deeper intimacy. In the wake of these “freedoms,” dysfunctions like sexual abuse have climbed. Pornography too. Indeed, our pornographic voyeurism has further objectified women (and increasingly men) … and simultaneously lessened the relational ability of men (and increasingly women). The touted inch of freedom in one direction has been otherwise a sociological disaster for women, men, children, and our entire culture.

 

If God had wanted pleasure to be the primary purpose of sex, he wouldn’t have linked it physiologically with procreation. But he did. And therefore, he defined the proper context for sex: Marriage. Marriage, indeed, is only context that provides women and children (and fathers and men too) with a safe environment for consequences (No! the blessings) of sex – children.

 

As I said yesterday, I’m not naïve. I know the pull of sexual attraction. I know most of you aren’t virgins as you approach (or approached) the altar. My point is that it doesn’t make you a hypocrite to reclaim God’s biblical order. He designed you to love sex. But he also invites you to celebrate it most fully in the proper order. When we wait and urge our friends and children to wait, we’re providing a God’s gift of greater intimacy within the one flesh union and greater blessing for the fruits of this union – any potential children.

 

Question of the Day: See Below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who waited …

and hasn’t been short-changed

in terms of fun or family

 

Question of the Day

·         Getting Married: Can you trust that God has a better plan for you in waiting than in not waiting?

·         Newlyweds: No matter whether you waited or not, how are you working now to focus totally on your spouse and secure the blessing of this one flesh union?

·         Married: No matter whether you waited or not, how are you testifying to the world – including to your children – about the wonderful blessing of God’s plan to bless those who wait?

·         Not Married: You are single. Therefore, you are in the perfect place to testify to the ability to be celibate and still be joyful and complete in Christ. Are you exercising this calling?

 

Feb 17 - Genesis 2:24, part 2

Therefore a man

… clings to his wife,

and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

NRSV

 

Notice what this verse doesn’t say. It doesn’t say that the two shall become one heart. It doesn’t say that they shall become one mind. It says one flesh. One body.

 

Marriage is sexual.

 

It is intimate. The two are designed to fit together as one.

 

Sex is tender. Sex is exciting. Sex is fun. And it was designed by God to be that way! God invented two bodies to fit together. Intimately. And God invented the chemicals released during love-making. Yes, say it with me: “God invented sex! Our Lord is not a prude!”

 

Look at some of the wonderful bodily chemicals that thrill us during love-making …

 

·         Norepinephrine generates energy, excitement, and exhilaration. It helps us focus, single-mindedly on our beloved as the most important person in our world.

·         Oxytocin, released at climax, is the body’s natural tranquilizer. It – and sex – reduces stress.

·         Serotonin has the many of same stress-relieving effects as Oxytocin … plus one more. Serotonin is the key ingredient in many anti-depressants; thus, sex is buoys our spirit!

·         How about testosterone? (And no, it’s not just for men!) Testosterone is the hormone of desire – sexual desire – in both men and women. But guys, let’s be honest … for us sex and our hormones play an even more central role. This sexual hormone triggers a positive outlook and sense of well-being.

 

Those are all delightful chemical, but most important sexual chemical of all is dopamine. When elevated, as during sex, this chemical focuses our attention.

 

Do you see, therefore, its purpose in marriage? The dopamine of sex is designed to focus us intently on our spouse. Indeed, it’s designed to do this to the exclusion of all others! Of everything else!

 

Read that again: Sex focuses two people on one other. Totally!

 

In other words, this is how sex was designed by God to unite husband and wife together passionately and purposefully. This is how sex was designed to make us one flesh.

 

That’s God’s design! And we need to talk more about that! Why? Because it’s powerful!

 

And because sex is powerful, this gift often gets misused. Our goal in coming days and devotions will be to help us celebrate God’s grand design for sex … and eliminate the misuses which actually make sex and marriage worse.

 

Question of the Day: See below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy, which means

… well, you know

 

Question of the Day

·         Getting Married: I’m not naïve. In our modern world, most of you are probably not perfectly chaste. But I would suggest that you note the order of God’s plan in today’s verse: When “the man clings to his wife [that’s when they] become one flesh.” Yes, sex can be physically exhilarating whether you’re married or not. But rushing God’s order will lessen the eventual gift. Indeed, you’re trading a deeper satisfaction for the next fifty years for a few moments of fun today. I don’t expect you to fully understand this until you back up, stop “fooling around,” and choose to wait, trusting that God has a plan to bring you a much greater joy and unity than you’re experiencing now. 

·         Newlyweds: Go celebrate! And while you do, ask this question: “What is married sex teaching me about being one with another?!”

·         Married: Go celebrate! And while you do, ask this question: “What is our sexuality continually teaching us about being one with another?!”

·         Not Married: This is a hard topic, isn’t it? To hear that there’s a powerful, physical gift and blessed, relational unity … and not be part of it. Here’s the good news: Jesus himself was single and celibate. The Apostle Paul celebrated the single estate as freeing us to unite more fully with God. In fact, historically, there has been almost an insistence upon celibacy as a path to spiritual intimacy. Therefore, as you may be lamenting one loss (the intimacy of marriage) is it possible for you to celebrate a potential gain – greater intimacy with God?!

 

Feb 16 - Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man

… clings to his wife,

and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

NRSV

 

I asked a firefighter once, “What’s going to be different when the two of you get married?”

 

He thought for a long time.

 

It was clear that he really didn’t want to be talking with me. Pre-marital counseling was obviously a hoop he had to jump through. In fact, marriage itself was probably just a hoop he had to jump through.

 

Suddenly, however, the light bulb went on. “I got it,” he said. “As firefighters, when we go into a fire, we’re trained to always go in two at a time.”

 

“Yes!” I cheered to myself. “He’s finally got it!”

 

“And it’s our job,” he said, “to look out for ourselves first and our partner second.”

 

I hung my head. “No. That’s not what marriage is all about.”

 

In marriage, there’s no more, “me first, then you.” It’s “us.” Always! “The two shall become one flesh.”

 

Have you ever heard anyone say, “Marriage is fifty-fifty”? No, it’s not! Marriage is one hundred – one hundred! You don’t want your spouse giving just fifty percent, do you?

 

It’s “all” … or it will inevitably wind up being nothing.

 

Question of the Day: see below

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who wants a lot

from life and marriage

… so I better give a lot first!

 

Question of the Day:

·         Getting Married and Newlyweds: And you prepared to give 100%, 100% of the time? What will have to change in you and your life in order to put your spouse and your marriage first (even before you, your job, your hobbies, your friends, your desires)?

·         Married: And you giving 100%, 100% of the time? Does your marriage and your spouse and marriage rank ahead of your own wants and desires? If so, when was the moment when you began to put your spouse and your marriage before yourself? (Was there a spark, a moment, that prompted it … or was it a gradual maturing?) Alternatively, if you can’t say that it has happened yet, what do you think will have to change for this to happen?

·         Not Married: The secret to all successful relationships is putting the well-being of others before yourself. What are relationships in which you’ve mastered this … and how does that feel? How might this compassion toward others improve other relationships?

 

Feb 14-15 - Colossians 3:14

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Above all,

clothe yourselves with love,

which binds everything together

in perfect harmony

Colossians 3:14

 

What is love?

 

When I was a kid, my generation was told that “Love is a Many-Splendored Thing.” (This was the name of a movie. It was an Academy Award winning instrumental score. It was a show tune that was frequently covered by artists as varied as Frank Sinatra and Ringo Starr. It was even a soap opera that ran every afternoon during my childhood!)

 

Love is, indeed, a many-splendored thing, and we could talk a long time about love and it’s many splendors … but what is the one thing that today’s verse needs to teach us?

 

This verse teaches us that love is glue. It “binds [us] together.” It sticks us to the ones we want stick with. It’s Elmer’s glue. 

 

In 1 Peter 4:8, the Apostles tell us, “most important of all, ... show deep love for each other.” Why? Because “love covers a multitude of sins.”

 

Love is glue. It “covers” the gaps between two people. Sometimes sin causes those gaps between two human beings. Sometimes it’s misunderstandings. Sometimes it’s just the simple differences between two people … including husband and wife. But what covers the gaps? Love. It’s the glue that binds two different and otherwise dividable people together.

 

But there’s a different kind of “bind” and “binding” that some people encounter in relationships. Some people see marriage as binding – binding, like in handcuffs, restricting our freedom. For those who look at marriage in this way, what really and truly is missing is love. Rather than binding (handcuffing) us to another person, love binds (joyfully joins) us to our beloved. My strengths are shared with my bride. Her strengths are added to mine. We’re definitely better together. And love is the glue that creates this strength. 

 

Question of the Day: Think of your closest relationship(s). What differences, sins, and misunderstandings are in your relationship and still need to be bridged (covered)? What aspects of love – patience, kindness, forgiveness, etc. – do you need to develop personally to help you bridge these differences?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy named Elmer

(the glue-guy)

 

 

Feb 13 - Colossians 3:12

As God’s chosen ones, 

holy and beloved, 

clothe yourselves with 

compassion, kindness, 

humility, meekness, 

and patience.

Colossians 3:12

 

“How long did it take you to get dressed and ready for your wedding?” I asked a recent bride. 

 

“Oh, about 7 hours. I woke up at 8 and basically spent the day primping!”

 

“Clothe yourselves.” It’s understandable — and delightful — for a bride to spend hours getting ready for her wedding!

 

But what if we’d spend that many hours – on our wedding day or any married day – “cloth[ing our]selves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience”?

 

Wait! Life is busy. How can we possibly spend an hour a day clothing ourselves with compassion? ... plus an hour a day clothing ourselves with kindness? ... plus an hour clothing ourselves with humility? ... plus an hour each on meekness and patience?

 

Answer: We can’t … unless things like kindness and compassion become part of our character. 

 

Character is not a game of dress-up. It’s not a momentary masquerade. Character is a matter of how we live EVERY hour. 

 

Each moment of each day a husband should strive to dress himself in tenderheartedness and humility … and he should do it as carefully put on his bow tie and tux on his wedding day. A wife should wear patience and gentleness as beautifully as she wore her wedding dress on her wedding day.

 

But remember, primping takes time and attention. And so does building character. We practice kindness … until we become kind. We practice compassion … until we become compassionate. We practice humility … until we become truly humble.

 

And humility is handsome. And kindness is beautiful. It is how we are designed to be. And we aren’t fully human until we are wearing these characteristics. And our marriage isn’t fully dressed until we put on godliness …  and wear it daily. 

 

Question of the Day: Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience: Are they part of who you are? Are you actively working to clothe yourself with these traits, trying to improve? Or are you intentionally excusing your failing in one or more of these areas?

 

In Christ’s Love,

a guy who likes to be

truly well-dressed